How are your relationships?

The fourth plan that I recommend concerns setting goals for relationships and setting time aside to help you to achieve your emotional and relationship goals. None of us can have too many friends or too much family. However, there are times when we are dissatisfied with both. In a balanced life, we must manage our friendships and relationships. This takes time. Your time is precious and will quickly slip away if not budgeted and planned.

Even if you are already in a close relationship, you must spend time on the relationship or it will wither and die. My spouse Karen and I have set aside Tuesday night as talk night and family time. With no children home, we still find that problems and issues arise that need to be discussed. When we skip our planned talk days, eventually something breaks down and we realize that skipping these days is not a good idea. In addition, we set aside time to be by ourselves and do things alone and we set aside time to spend with our friends, our children and our grandchildren.

The emphasis on our planning is to try to keep a happy balance. When we are feeling dissatisfied, it is a good indication that we are not spending enough time on some aspects of our relationships. You do not need a very formal system to create such a plan. Karen and I simply discuss it from time to time and have our own rough guidelines for spending time with family and friends. I do regard appointments and times with friends as important enough to mark on my calendar and I seldom cancel dates that I have set unless something really important comes up. I have all of my friends in my address book and many on email. For awhile, I was using a group email list to regularly visit with friends and relatives each month, but I drifted away from this method. It certainly has pro’s and con’s.

How much time do you spend trying to maintain or improve your relationships? Do you think this is enough time? Do you wish you had more friends or closer relationships with your spouse or family? When can you set aside the time to help achieve these goals? Begin your plan by setting aside time to talk to some of these people either weekly or monthly about the important things in your relationships. Mark down some general overall goals for who you want to spend time with and how often you think you need to. You can simply write these on your calendar in the margins or sides.

How about a plan for your knowledge?

The third plan that I have found essential is for my mental and cognitive development. Yes, I mean a plan to expand my brainpower or at least my knowledge base. It has been said that the only real job security we have is between our ears. In this day of rapid obsolescence, the knowledge that one has becomes outdated very quickly. We need to think of learning as a lifelong endeavor and not just as a series of degrees or diplomas. To do that, each of us needs some type of learning or self-development plan. This is too important to trust to employers or others with the hope that they will provide us training and education. We need develop our own lifelong training program. This plan will be different for each of us. It will depend on your knowledge, skills and abilities and your personal interests and goals.

I try to develop a plan each year to insure that I am keeping up with technology and the key insights in my chosen career field. I am now able to use the Internet to help me do this. The use of RSS feeds (Really Simple Syndication) and other automatic downloads helps me to keep abreast of what is happening in the workplace. I also try to subscribe to current magazines that will help me to keep abreast. If you cannot afford new magazines and books, you can make a weekly trip to the library and simply scan the newest magazines for insights. Belonging to professional associations can be somewhat expensive but may be well worthwhile if you can use the time effectively for growth and development. Professional associations give you the opportunity to meet and network with leaders and experts in your field. These contacts can be invaluable. Finally, do you look for opportunities to attend workshops and conferences that will give you new learning and insights? There are many free podcasts, webinars, videoconferences, teleconferences, papers and articles on the web that are wonderful resources and they do not cost a cent.

If you do not have a plan or as you start to develop your plan, here are some key questions to think about:

• How will you ensure that you remain knowledgeable and informed?
• What could you do now to be better informed about your world and what’s
happening in it?
• Can you read a book, take a class or attend a lecture each month?
• Are you taking advantage of the free opportunities for education and
training on the Internet?

Make a schedule of activities that will keep your mind healthy and flexible and see if you can stick to it for the next year.

Do you have a health and exercise program?

The second of the five plans that you need to better manage your time deals with your health. All of us want to be healthy. You have only to visit the health clubs the day after New Years to witness all of the people who have suddenly decided that their goal for the New Year is to become healthy. However, it takes more than just desire to become healthy. You have to also have commitment, follow-through and a plan. Have you ever noticed that the more successful people are the more time they spend taking care of their health. All the money in the world will not do you any good if you don’t have your health. True, some health problems are not preventable by good diet and exercise. However, bad diet and no exercise will make any existing problems worse and perhaps create a multitude of life-style related illnesses and disease. The medical dictionary is full of disease and illnesses that are preventable or ameliorated by good diet and exercise.

I have been keeping to a diet and exercise program now for over 30 years. I chart my exercise and diet regularly. I keep food goals and exercise goals. I am not trying to be an Olympic athlete. I seldom run any marathons or races. However, I feel good, maintain a healthy weight and occasionally am able to compete in some short local events. I don’t make a habit of it because what is the point? At my age, I am not going to break any records or win any gold medals. My entire exercise and diet program is aimed at what a friend of mine called “maintenance.” I want to maintain an adequate level of heath and fitness to enjoy life daily. Do you have a health and exercise plan that you chart daily or weekly? Does your program work for you? If not, I am going to suggest the following ideas.

Your health plan should address both weight and exercise to start. List your goals in terms of weight and exercise. I use a wall calendar with large open squares to write in. I put my daily amount (length of time running or swimming or yoga or walking) in the appropriate daily square. My calendar is what enables me to track how often I exercise against my goals. For instance, my goals now are as follows: to run at least 16 times each month for an average of 30 minutes a run; To swim at least 8 times each month for an average of 30 minutes each swim, to do 40 pushups or ten pull-ups each day; to do yoga at least twice a week and to walk with my wife for 3 miles at least twice a week.

At the end of each month, I look at my calendar and count the number of times I did each exercise against my goals and I put it in a little notebook. I have been keeping this record for over 25 years now. Writing it down helps me to keep on track and to look back to see how I am doing each month for the current year. I also summarize my weight based on my daily weigh-ins on the bathroom scale and compute an average monthly weight which I list in my notebook. To do this, I simply get on a scale each morning and write my daily weight in a space on the calendar. Even if I miss doing this a few days, the average of 20-25 daily readings each month is much more accurate than taking a once a week or once a month reading. Taking a reading like this also prevents me from over or under reacting to daily weight shifts. For instance, some days I may be up two or three pounds over my target weight. However, the daily reading is not important. It is the monthly reading. By taking this monthly average, I can identify trends and see if my weight is going up or down. This allows me to adjust accordingly by noting those months and events that have an adverse impact on my weight or exercise.

By the way, this might seem like it takes a lot of time, but it takes me no more than five minutes a day to chart my exercise and my weight. I work out an average of about 45 minutes each day if you add up the walking, swimming, yoga and jogging each week. I believe that by staying healthy, you will add a great deal of time to your life. The payback for this time has been worth it for me. It will be worth it for you too. It is an investment in your health and your wealth. The longer you are healthy, the more you earn and are able to avoid forced medical expenses. Well, are you ready to start your plan? Do you need more information? If so, simply type “exercise planning” in Google with the quotes and you will find a number of excellent worksheets and articles to help you get started. Another question is “Will you fall off the bandwagon?” Of course you will. I have fallen off so many times, I have lost count. The real question is “Will you get back on again?”

Do you have a financial plan?

If you want to manage your life well, the first plan you must have is a financial plan. A financial plan will help to insure that you have the money to spend when you have the time to spend it. There is no sense having a lot of extra time if you do not have the money to go anywhere or do anything. Although staying at home can be relaxing and fun, we need to have the choice of doing nothing or something. Money gives us this choice. A financial plan should have both present and projected expenses and it should be as detailed as possible.

You can start your financial plan with using a software program like Money or you can simply use an Excel spreadsheet. In one column, list all your monthly debts, for instance, Visa or insurance or mortgage. In the columns across the top, you should put each month from the time you start your plan. Your bills will be very similar from month to month but you can list your monthly bills and expenses for the next 12 months by cutting and pasting from the first month you start your plan. If you know of any differences that are coming up, you can place these figures in the appropriate box. Fill the boxes for the next upcoming month with any fixed or essential expenses. You can then use another page to set up a “forecast” for projected expenses that are desirable but not essential. For instance, I want to buy a new pair of roller blades. I will put the item in the left hand column and then under a future month, I will budget the item in. You can use this second page for items like clothes, vacations, concerts etc. By having both sheets you can see first what you must pay and then second what you would like to buy.

Whenever, you have left over income, or need to prioritize you will have your priorities and needs already mapped out. I also add a third spreadsheet where I track large recurring debts such as home equity loans or credit card loans. This third spreadsheet helps me track my monthly payments on these debts and how much I have left to pay on each debt. Well, does this sound simple? It is! But the benefits are huge. You will take charge of your life and your finances. You will know where your money is going. You will be able to prioritize and spend your money on the things that are most important and eventually you will be debt free and have few financial worries. It really works. Have you started yet? Why not? What is holding you back?

How about a plan or two for improving your life?

What is a plan? I call a plan “organized time.” What is your definition? If my time is not organized and managed, then nothing happens. I believe we all need 5 plans in our lives. These five plans will help you to organize and manage your time to achieve the results and goals that can help make you be more successful, healthy and happy. Although this series of reflections was not going to be a “time management book”, I did feel that there were some key time management tasks and activities that I had learned over the years that I want to share with you.

As I sit here, I am relatively fit, happy, prosperous (but not rich) and lead a very comfortable life. I don’t do drugs and am not on any medication. I am over sixty now and feel as good as I did when I was 40 years of age. Not only do I feel as good, but I am much more satisfied with life and much happier with my life. What do I attribute this to? Most importantly, these five plans that I am going to share with you! In fact, I believe I could have been happier and even more prosperous and successful at an earlier age if I had known about and practiced these plans in my youth.

What is the purpose of planning? It is simply to help prioritize our time so that we get the important tasks done and leave the unimportant and intrusive tasks out of our lives. You do not have to be a genius to plan. You do not need any special skills. The biggest skill you need is simply commitment. You need to commit to a series of goals and objectives and measure your results. Only by measuring and monitoring your results can you see if your plans on working.

Planning needs to be realistic but not necessarily ambitious. Contrary to many experts, you do not need to “shoot for the moon.” In my plans for health, I simply set up a maintenance schedule to “maintain” the level of health I have. I am not interested in breaking my “personal best” time or running a marathon tomorrow I want to maintain an adequate level of health to do the things I enjoy and not spend my time in the hospital or in bed. I do not set goals to be the next Olympic gold medal winner.

Tomorrow, we will talk about the first of my five essential plans. Are you ready to start planning? Can you make a commitment to plan? Remember, some days you will honor that commitment and other days you will fail. That is quite normal. My goals are to simply keep starting over again whenever I fall off the wagon. Find a pencil and paper or a note pad and keep it handy. I like to use a calendar with open spaces to write my daily efforts in. I also use an Excel spread sheet to track my calories and weight. An accountant’s ledger pad would work just as well. These tools simply help to focus our activities and to act as a reminder each day for us.

Are you behind the times?

What does it mean to be behind the times? Have you ever heard this phrase applied to someone? It usually means that we think someone is not up to date or that they lack current awareness of “the times.” But what times does this refer to? For instance, if I refuse to use a computer to send emails to people, would it mean I was behind the times? What about people who like antiques or who still like to buy things they can fix? Are such people behind the times? What if you do not like modern music? What if you have some old clothes that you still like to wear that are no longer fashionable? Are you behind the times if you resist the newest trends and fads?

If you are in step with the times, does this mean you can use the newest technology and that you are up to date with the newest TV shows, pop music and/or fashions? What are the cultural elements of this statement? Can you be behind the times in the US and perhaps in step with the times if you move to another country? Is someone who lives in a less fashion forward area going to be behind the times if they move to NYC or Paris? And what if one is behind the times, can they ever catch up to the times? Are people who are “behind” the times, those who are making a choice or do they simply lack the motivation? Who decides who is behind and who is ahead?

Wouldn’t it be interesting if there was a website that had some type of index or rating which would allow you to see if you were ahead of the times or how far behind the times you were? How far behind can one get? Where do you think you are right now? Are you behind or ahead of the times? Do you think your friends or family or children would agree with you? Why not?

Are you patient or stressed?

Have you ever thought of having a “day of patience?” What does patience have to do with time though? Well, according to one definition of patience, it is “a good-natured tolerance of delay.” Delay is when time accrues that we were not expecting such as when a plane is delayed or a birth is delayed. Delays can be a major source of stress, unless of course you are a “patient” person. The penalties for lacking patience can be severe.

We have all seen how instances of “road rage” can turn into sudden tragedies that can ruin lives. A lack of patience can be the source of severe stress and/or depression. Studies show that over ten percent of unemployed people suffer from depression. How much depression occurs because we want things right now and these things we want may take a great deal of time to accrue? If you are looking for a job, it might seem like forever with the countless phone calls, letters and interviews. Patience counsels us that it is just a matter of time, but we are not trained to wait for things to happen. We all want things today. We may recite the aphorism that “Rome was not built in a day” but we still try to build it in a day.

It is ironic that people who live in a chronically stressed-out condition are more likely to take up smoking and overeating, and are far less likely to exercise. Indirectly both of these are major contributors to a wide range of diseases and illnesses. It still remains to be shown how or to what extent stress may contribute to heart disease but it has been shown that stress contributes to factors that lower our resistance to good health and increases our risk of illness. For a good deal of information on stress and how to cope with it, go to the following website: http://stress.about.com/

How we think about the delays in our life can contribute to our health and longevity by lowering our stress and easing the burden on our hearts. How do you react to delays? Do you regard them as “opportunities” or as “time wasters?” Do you jump the gun at red lights and always run the yellow lights? Can you hardly keep from honking at the slow driver in front of you? Do the long lines and people taking more time at the registers cause you to do a slow burn? Carefully note the delays in your day today and watch how you react to them. Give yourself a star each time you are patient and an X whenever you are impatient. See how many of each you have at the end of the day.

What do you really value?

What do you have time for today? They say we can tell what a person values by where they spend their time and what they spend their money on. A church leader I heard speak once said that people will often exaggerate what they do for others or what they really value. He went on to say that a true and accurate picture of their values could be gleaned from their daily calendar and their check books. Where they spent their time and what they spent their money on would truly show you what their values were. This would be an interesting activity.

For many of us, the things we say that we value would not line up with the time and money we spend. What about you? Have you ever taken the time to look at what you spend your time on and where the bulk of your money goes? What would such an examination of your calendar and checkbook say about your values? Would you be consistent with the values that you have expoused to your family and friends? Are you spending time on the right things and the right people? If not, why? What stops you from being more congruent with your espoused values? What would it take for you to have a better match with those things you say you value and how you really want to live your life?

Are you wasting your time?

“Wasted time is on my mind” – Song lyrics from the album “Wasted Time” by Black Dawn. Wasted time encompasses many things we do in a day. We can waste time by doing the wrong thing or spending time with the wrong people. We can waste time on the wrong goals. Increasingly it seems important to make the best use of our time. We all seem to have problems with having enough time so the time we do have becomes more precious. As we get older, we realize the value of time in all we do. We say we cannot afford to waste time, but inevitably we seem to have those days. Sometimes an entire day can feel wasted if we do not accomplish anything. Nevertheless, life is a series of unending cycles. Some days we waste more time than others, some days we will be more productive than others.

We are not machines that can reduce waste each day by small increments and get better and better until we achieve zero defects. As human beings, we will always be “defective.” That is part of the human condition. We will make mistakes, waste time and have days when we seem to be going backward rather than forward. The difference between the winners and the losers is what they do about those days. The winner learns from his/her mistakes and starts over. The loser gives up and simply quits. Wasted time is one of those migraines on the road to success. It is an obstacle to be overcome time and time again. It will never go away but we can get better at battling wasted time.

How often do you think about wasted time? What is wasted time? Wasted time for one person might be the most valuable time in the world for another person. What do you think is “wasted” time in your life? How much of wasted time fills your day? Why? What could you do instead of “wasting” time? What are the most productive uses of your time and the least productive? Can you let go of the least productive?

Do you know the secret for getting rid of stress?

Well today my spouse reminded me that time does not always have to be serious. We need time to do nothing, time for fun and time when we are not thinking about time. Relaxation is a very important part of life. Studies show that people who are more relaxed and less stressed live longer. Many of these studies show people who are wealthier and more successful live longer and are also less stressed..

The richer lived longer, and the richer they were, the longer they lived. But more importantly was the relative wealth or success that the rich were enjoying. In the United States, while rich states have twice the wealth as others, they don’t have better health overall. But within each state, the richest people seem to live longer than the poorest. In other words, relative economic rank is what matters in determining how long we live. (Dan Sewell Ward, 2003, The Library of Alexandria, http://www.halexandria.org/dward081.htm)

The rich live longer because it is less stressful to be successful than unsuccessful. How often do we see that someone has committed suicide because they “feel like a failure?” You do not often hear of people killing themselves when they have just succeeded at some difficult task. Stress has also been shown to lower white blood cell counts and lead to lower immunity and greater susceptibility to a wide range of illnesses.

Chronic stress is a causative factor of diseases of the cardiovascular system, including hypertension, stroke and heart disease; a compromised immune system which can lead to infections, allergies or even cancer; and gastrointestinal conditions such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome. (Health Topics, http://www.50plushealth.co.uk/index.cfm?articleid=428 ).

Relaxation can reduce stress by substituting play and fun for worries and pessimism. When we relax our body recharges and we develop renewed resources for coping with life. Each of us only has a finite amount of coping energy. When we drop below a certain level, we experience increased stress and an increased inability to cope with the daily traumas of life. We need to recharge our psychic batteries or we will experience a meltdown.

So let’s make today a time for fun. What can you do for yourself that will be fun? No matter how busy you are today, try to find at least one thing that will be your treat for being so productive on all those other days. Do you regularly treat yourself to a day of fun? How often each day do you build some fun into your day? Do you think you are Superman or Superwoman? Do you want to live longer and happier? When will you start relaxing more?

What can you never do on a Sunday?

Do you remember the song “Never on a Sunday?” Do you know what you could “Never do on a Sunday?” Do you know why you could “Never do it on a Sunday?” In the song, “Never On a Sunday”, you could not kiss the heroine, because it was her “day of rest.” For thousands of years, Sunday has represented a day of rest. Whether it actually has been a day of rest is a different issue.

When I was a small child, Sundays represented going to visit relatives and having friends stop over after church to visit. Sundays have always seemed more peaceful to me and as a day to catch up and really rest from the toils of the week. I still like to visit people on a Sunday although this has become more difficult due to the busy schedule everyone has. It does not seem that people take much time anymore visiting each other on Sundays. Sunday has more become for me a time to visit older relatives in nursing homes now. Many people simply use it to work in their gardens, fix their homes up, get some extra work done or do school work.

What do Sundays represent for you? Are Sundays a day of rest for you? A time of prayer and reflection? A time to catch up on work that you did not have time for during the week? What do you “Never do on a Sunday?” What do you spend your time doing on Sundays? What would you really like to do this Sunday? What stops you from doing it? Go ahead and do it anyway.

How attached are you to things and life?

“Pleasure comes, but not to stay; even this shall pass away.” (All Things shall pass away. John Bartlett (1820–1905). We have all heard that life is a series of ups and downs. Without pain, we do not know pleasure. The states we find ourselves in each day may vary as much as the weather. One day I am energetic and happy, the next day I am depressed and lethargic. Moods wax and wane like the tides. How can I be happy each day?

If we were spirits rather than temporal beings it might be possible to remain constant and unchanging. However, the nature of being temporal means that we will forever experience cycles in our life: cycles of happiness, cycles of pain, cycles of birth, cycles of death and cycles of aging. Nothing is permanent in this world. This is the meaning of temporality. Should I be sad or angry at the thought that whatever I have today could be swept away tomorrow? And if not tomorrow, then someday for sure! All temporal things will perish.

How attached are you to the things in life? Are you prepared to accept that all things are very transient and impermanent? Are your Prada purses and Gucci jeans vain attempts to gain some type of immortality? What vanities do you have that you try to hold onto? What things have the most meaning to you? Do you stop to acknowledge the people and things that really count in your life? Do you realize that they could all be swept away tomorrow? Are you valuing the people, loved ones and friends that really matter by spending your time on them? Do you value your soul as much as your clothes?

Are you waiting for luck?

“If we cannot do everything at once, let us do one at a time." - Thomas Jefferson. For some of us, starting anything is an overwhelming task. We are bogged down by the complexity of the project and do not know where to start. We fail to remember that all great journeys start with the first step. How many times have you heard that phrase? By now you are probably sick of it! However, if it fails to inspire you, then what will? Rome was not built in a day! A stitch in time saves nine! Haste makes waste! All of these aphorisms are just little tricks to help us remember that we can’t do it all at once. Anything worth doing takes time may be another cliché but it is also an iron law of the universe.

Tiger Woods practices more than 10 hours each day. Wayne Gretsky, Jean Claude Killy, Valentino Rossi and many other great world champions all started when they were less than five years old. If you link genetics, an early start and much time spent in practice, you have a formula for success. Wal-Mart started in 1954 in Bentonville, Arkansas, a town most of us have never heard of. In 1985, I had never even been to or heard of a Wal-Mart. By 2005, it was the largest corporation in the world - an overnight success? All too many people look for luck to make their day. They hope to win the lottery, strike it big at the local casino or score on some big class action lawsuit. Waiting for luck is the greatest waste of time I can think of. We make our own luck.

Were Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of the richest people in the world lucky? Did they get their money by winning a lottery?? If you want to get lucky, start by putting one foot forward and then following it with the other. Luck is where preparation meets opportunity. If you want to have a great life and a great adventure, start now. What is one thing that you can do today that will start you on that great journey? Pick one thing today that and do it. What is the next step that you can take on your great adventure?

Do you have the right priorities?

Priorities, the average person spends 3 hours per day watching TV and less than one hour per week in any kind of regular exercise either physically or spiritually. Mark Twain said that the person who does not read good books is no better off than the person who cannot read. We admire people who accomplish great feats of skill, but do we realize how much time and practice went into these accomplishments.

We are asked to help someone and we say “Sorry, I have no time.” We come to the end of the week and we wonder where all the minutes went. We look at our life and lament that we just do not have enough time to do what we need to get done. The rich, the successful, the extraordinary people have the same amount of time we have. Every one of us wakes up each day with a new bag of minutes. The clock resets at 12 AM and we all start fresh with 24 hours. The average person leads an average life and wastes an average amount of time. The successful person does not waste a minute because time is precious.

Relaxation is important to each of us and needs to be included in our days, but excessive relaxation is a form of sloth and waste. What did you learn from this week’s football game or the new TV series about sex and crime? How much do these shows help you in your marriage, job or life goals? Which is more really important for your life? Do you fill your life with meaningless activities or do you fill it with activities that will enrich your life and those around you? Do you aspire to be average or would you like to be above average in at least one area of your life? Are you willing to do what it will take to be above average? What are your priorities this week?

Do you worry too much about tomorrow?

Here is one of the most useful thoughts about time that I have ever heard:

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today.” - Matthew 6:25, 33-34

It does not matter whether you are Christian, Moslem, Jewish or even an atheist. The above reflection helps us to put our life in perspective. We worry, worry, and worry about things that we cannot control.

Another thought about time, that I always find useful is from the Alcoholics Anonymous book: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – The Serenity Prayer of AA. What do both of these thoughts tell you about time and about life? Are you too concerned with the future or the past to live your life today? Do you worry about things before they happen? Are you a worry-wart? Are you trying so hard to control life to prevent anything bad happening that you have no room for the good to happen?

What if you lived your life more in the present? Do you really know what you can control and what you cannot control? How can you get more balance and start living more in the present? Would you be happier if you could?

This is a story about an older woman who had watched her life fly away and did not feel that she had really lived it. When she turned sixty, she started thinking “Well, I will have about 20 years to live and I really want to make them count.” Therefore, she went out and bought 365 marbles for each year she would have left to live. (365 marbles x twenty years). This seemed like a lot of marbles but she put them in a big bin in her house and each day, she took one out and put it in her pocket to think about.

The years continued to go by and she said the exercise became almost a habit, until one day she reached in the bin and noticed she only had 365 marbles left, exactly enough for one year. From here on out, her attitude started to change dramatically. Each marble she withdrew took on increasing significance. The days and marbles continued to go by, but not without her trying to live each day to the fullest. Before she died, she said the activity made her aware of how precious each of our days really are. We take each day for granted until we only have a few left. Some of us don’t even realize this fact until it is too late.

Create a bowl for yourself. How long do you think you will live? How many marbles do you have left in your bowl? Do you count each day as a blessing, or can you hardly wait until it is over so you can get on to tomorrow? Do you throw away your week days and live for the weekends? Do you truly appreciate the time you are given each day and make the most of it? Do you treat each day as the gift of life it is? When will you start appreciating the time you are given?

Do you march to a different drummer?

He (or she) marches to a different drummer. We all know someone who fits this description. Often, we might like to be that person. The person who seems true to themselves, who sets their own cadence, who charts their own path, goes their own way and is oblivious to time and other constraints.

Imagine, a person living in our society today who did not care about time or who set their own time to live and do things. We might believe that it was impossible to manage by one’s own time or we might envy such a person. A person who sets time by their own clock in modern society might be an anomaly. Would he or she be someone who was simply out of place and a misfit? Or would they be a true entrepreneur of time - a free spirit in a world demanding instant time gratification.

Answer your phone, answer the door, answer your email, don’t forget the appointment, where is my cell phone? In a clock oriented society, we march to the seconds, minutes, and incessant ticking of the clock. Time to go to work, time to go home, time to wake up, time to eat, time to play, time to sleep, time to watch TV, time for fun, time, time, time, the incessant drumbeat that never stops. How many of us are constantly marching to the beat of the time drummer?

Have you ever wanted to march to your own beat? What would it take to put time aside? Could you do it for one day? Could you pick some days to live by your own schedule each month? Would you only be able to do this on the weekend? Are you ever off the clock during the week? What would your life be like if you could go off the clock more often? Why not? What stops you from "marching to your own drummer?"

Time consumers versus time wasters.

Time consuming generally means something that takes a great deal of time. To consume means to eat, so something that is “time consuming” literally eats our time. Have you ever made a list of time eaters? Probably they will be different from time wasters. Time wasters generally have little or no value, like waiting in line at an airport. However, time consumers may have a lot of value but they still take a great deal of time to accomplish.

It is time consuming to paint your house, find a new babysitter or complete your B.A. degree. Nevertheless, none of these things is a waste of time. There are so many time consuming activities that we could do and that would add value to our lives. How can we get over the hurdle that these large consumptions of time present? We have so many things do to; it is hard to spend a large amount of time on any one activity or effort. Time consumers bog us down and force us to ignore other time activities that are screaming for our attention. I was amazed to read that Truman Capote spent ten years writing and researching his novel in “Cold Blood.” It simply amazes me that someone could spend ten years on such an activity. Of course, his effort was well worth the time spent. Many of us would want a guarantee that our time was going to be productive before we would commit a large block of time. Unfortunately, there are often no guarantees that our time spent will reward us with increased value in the future. Even getting a diploma is no guarantee of getting a good job.

How long should we invest in one activity? How can we tell when a time consumer really will be worth the effort? Is there any way to measure the value of time consumers? What do you think?

Can We Change the Past?

Have you ever wished you could go back in time or wanted to build a time machine and travel back to some event in the distant past? Thinking about time travel is an interesting endeavor. Most of us would like to be able to visit the past. A most provocative idea is that we could somehow make things right by changing what we did wrong. However, whenever this is attempted in the movies or in stories, inevitably something unexpected also changes and the results are never positive. Of course, this does not dissuade anyone from trying.

The question then is can we change the past? We all seem to think that we have to go back in the past to change it. Perhaps it is possible to undo mistakes from the past today. Perhaps it is never too late. Perhaps we do not have to go back in time to change the past.

If you could visit the past and undo something or change the course of some event, what would you choose to change? Why? What if you could change it today? Would you try? Why not? What are you doing today that you might regret in the future? Do you have time today to change it?

Is it a Good Day to Die?

As you read my blogs this year, you might want to reflect on how much time you have spent in your life, how wisely you have spent it and how much time in your life you have left to spend. A wise man once said: “live each day as though it will be your last, but spend your money as though you will live forever.” No one knows exactly how much time they have left in their lives. The wisest path for all of us is to live our lives by making the most meaningful choices in respect to both our time and money.

The short ideas, quotes, questions and exercises in my blogs are all about helping you to think about time differently. There are too many books and lectures about "time management" and I have no desire to simply add to the pile. Managing time is only a small aspect of our ability to deal with the time in our lives. Tips on managing time do not deal with the underlying influences that time has on our lives. If you want to better manage time, you must first see time for what it really is. I want my blogs to help provide a new way each day for you to think about the "time" in your life.

Whether or not time exists in a physical sense, it is certainly a reality in our lives. If I don’t show up for work on time or keep an appointment on time, it may cost me my job or a friend. Some of us control our time better than others and some of us can never seem to control our time. The daily thoughts and challenges in each of my blogs are designed to help you think about and deal more effectively with the seconds and minutes of your life. The more zealous you are about answering the questions and conducting some of the suggested activities, the more valuable these blogs will be for you. Thus, do not simply read these blogs. Take a pencil and paper and when you have some time. answer the questions that I pose. This will bring home the reality of time for you and help you to see what issues and challenges time holds for you.

If death did come knocking on your door to take you by the hand and lead you out of this world, what affairs would you most want to get in order before you would leave? What is stopping you from getting your house in order? Do you think you will live forever? The Cheyenne had a war cry that went: “It is a good day to die.” Are you ready to die today? What would you need to change before you could answer yes to the question?

Can We Really Save Time?

If I could save time in a bottle,
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away,
Just to spend them with you. – Jim Croce (Time in a Bottle)

How often do you want to spend time with someone, but it just passes away? Then you think that you wish you could have saved time and spent more of it with the person then you had. However, eternity just passes away and you never spend the quality time you were hoping to. The problem happens because we are living in the future and not in the present. In the present, time is a gift that we have been given and we can not save even a minute. So who can you spend more time with this week that you have been putting off seeing because you had no time? Who would cause you the most regrets if they died and you had not shared another moment with them? What is more important now then spending a moment of eternity with them?

January, the beginning of a New Year of Hope and Change

Sorry, but I went to Arizona to furnish my new house there and did not have the time to find to do my posts. I did start again with the New Year and will try to catch up. However, I would like to post this one which should have been posted on New Years Day. I will try to post one each day this year and have a title instead of a day to post.

January - the beginning of a new year. This is the time when we make new resolutions and promises galore. A time to begin over and to make dreams and wishes come true that did not work out the year before. We bring in the New Year as a new born baby, full of promise and youth. Some critics might look at the trail of broken promises from bygone years and laugh at the efforts of others. Such people disregard the possibility of hope and change. Yes, we are better this year than we were last year and we will continue to grow and change and look at the folly of our past lives. Hope as they say springs eternal in the human breast and what would we be without it? We need to try again and when we fail, we try again. The only failure is when we stop trying. So I say: “Disregard the naysayers, go ahead and set some new goals and new dreams. Stretch your vision and your horizons. People do not perish because of their dreams; they perish because of a lack of dreams.