Why do a good deed today?

“I recommend you to have a firm and generous proposal to always serve God with all your heart. Do not worry about tomorrow. Think about doing good today. And when tomorrow comes, it will be today and then you can think about it.” - Padre Pio, July 4, 1917.

A few years ago, Karen and I went to Italy to visit. We visited Rome and did all the traditional sites. We saw the Vatican, the Pieta, the Spanish Steps, the Coliseum and many other famous sites that now elude me. After a week of Rome, we left for the town of Quadrelle outside of Naples. We love to spend time in both city and country, leaning more heavily to the time we can spend in the more rural areas. Quadrelle was a fabulous little town in the Campania region of Italy. It was close to the Amalfi Coast as well as many attractions such as Pompeii, the Isle of Capri and the Castle at Caserta. In addition, it was smaller and friendlier than Rome.

One of the things that struck me was the love that the local people had for Padre Pio. There was a statue of him in a little park in town. I had only passing acquaintance with him and no real knowledge of his life. To me, he was just another “Saint” or perhaps someone whom they were debating over sainthood. To the locals, there was no question that he was a saint. One might think he became a saint because of great accomplishments, great deeds or great heroics. However, it was just the opposite. Padre Pio was a very simple man. He was not high up in any orders of the church hierarchy. In fact, for many years, his own church persecuted him as a fraud and psycho. Today he is loved because he was a very wise and kind man. The quote above is from one of his many letters explaining how to live more fully.

Many great spiritual traditions advise us to live in the present and not worry about things we cannot fix or times that we have no control over. Nevertheless, many of us spend our time needlessly worrying about the future and forget about living for today. What can you do today that would add some measure of good to the world? The Boy Scouts say: “Do a good deed daily.” That’s not such a bad idea. Doing a good deed each day is a great way to live in the present. What is one “good deed” you can do for someone today?

Time to remember the real purpose of a holiday

Holidays or holy-days! When does a holy-day become a holiday and vice versa? Is Christmas a holiday or a holy-day? Is Easter a holy-day or a holiday? Is the Fourth of July a holiday or a holy-day? Do we any longer care? It often seems like it is just another day off to most people? Memorial Day, Veterans Day, Labor Day and many other “special” days have lost their meaning. They have become corrupted by our greed for leisure time and pleasure. How many of us celebrate their true meaning anymore? Is the meaning of Christmas in Santa Claus and the frantic search for new toys and the right gift? Is the meaning of Easter in the Easter bunny and colored eggs? Is the meaning of Thanksgiving in a stuffed turkey?

The word “holy” means: “belonging to or derived from or associated with a divine power” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com). While I would not want to be thought of as the Grinch who stole Christmas, I think we have lost sight of the sacred and the divine in too many of our holy-days. “Render unto Caesar and render unto God”! We have become lost with Caesar and forgotten God in our zest for celebration. Our sense of the divine and sacred has been subordinated to our sense of recreation and entertainment. Holy-days have become holidays and we forget their very reason for being. There is a great loss in this forgetting. Who is more important, God or Caesar? We can lose our direction and purpose in life by leaving out the sacred and holy and replacing it with the mundane and material.

Do you remember the sacrifices that many made for your liberty on the 4th of July or your day of independence? Do you remember the heroism and suffering paid by millions on Memorial Day or May Day for your freedom? Do you stop to give thanks for your blessings on your Holy Days or is it just business as usual? Are you one of those who have lost your sense of perspective on these special days? Are your holy-days just another day of vacation? What will it take for you to put the holy back into your holidays and to remember their true meaning?

When is it too late to start to live?

When your past is prime! We all know people who more or less dwell in the past. For many of us, the best times we can remember are past times. The future is uncertain, but we can remember those glory days of yesteryear. We still remember the feelings when we were high school heroes, when we were madly in love, when we ran our personal best or when we received first place in the race. Moreover, like the song by Mary Hopkins says:

We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.

However, all things must end and someday all of us will have our past primes. There will come a time in all our lives when our best days are behind us. Some of us will manage to move on, but some of us will stay stuck in the past with memories we do not want to or cannot put behind us. This sounds so inevitable and so fatalistic that it is hard to accept or refute. But perhaps it can be disputed. Perhaps we can always look forward to better days. Perhaps we can continue to have primes in front of us.

What if the conditions of primes were dependent on the choices we make rather than on the vicissitudes of time and fortune? Have you noticed that some people seem to be able to continue with their lives, while others seem to give up on life? Fred Beckey, the famous mountaineer (who is still climbing and is now almost 89 years old) was asked if he regretted not having climbed Mt Everest. He replied “I still have that to look forward to.” Has Fred simply choice a different route? Has he simply refused to give up or accept a “truth” that many of us would say was inevitable? Learn about Mr. Fred Beckey by going to the following link. You will hear and see a man who is 88 years old and still rock and mountain climbing. http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/12/15/sports/golf/1194835655194/the-old-man-of-the-mountains.html

What does it take to keep moving forward and searching for new adventures and new primes? Are you stuck in the past or have you chosen to move forward? Which do you think is the better way? Why?

Why the end of the world is nearer than you think!

The Apocalypse- the end of the world, the coming of judgment day, the day of reckoning! The word Apocalypse has held a series of ominous meanings for hundreds of years now. It is not unusual to hear some “fire and brimstone” TV evangelist telling us that this day is coming very soon. If you are reading this, you have no doubt survived just such a prophecy. According to this latest prophecy, the world was going to end on May 21,2011. Our next chance for Apocalypse is predicted to be for December 21, 2012. This theory is based on the Mayan Calendar rather then the bible. If the end does come, it probably will not make a difference.

“The term Apocalypse was first used among Hellenistic Jews to refer to a number of writings which depicted the future state of the world in a parabolic way (e.g. Apocalypse of Baruch). The whole class is now commonly known as 'Apocalyptic literature'. However, the Apocalypse technically refers to the unveiling of God, and not to the destruction of the world, just of our preconceptions” (Wikipedia).

The writing of the Apocalypse that comes to mind for many Christians is the last book of the New Testament. This is the Apocalypse of John or the Book of Revelation. The book is a somewhat mystical treatise on the end of the world and the second coming of Jesus Christ. Much as with the writings of the prophet Nostradamus, people are able to read many things into this work. It is often invoked to imply the damnation of the world as we now know it because the world is full of sinners and they will need to be purged before the rest of us can go to heaven. In the Book of Revelation, John writes: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end… But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”

There is a deeper message here that can be implied regardless of your faith or religion. This message is that we all need to keep our houses in better order, because we never know when the end, our end is near. I would give long odds that I will meet my end, many millenium before the world comes to its end. Looked at this way, the Apocalypse that is coming soon will be mine. Will I be ready to meet my last days?

Will you be able to face your final moments on earth knowing that you were kind and charitable to all people? Are you living the life you want to live? If you had to be judged today, would you be found guilty or innocent? Is your house in order? Are you ready to meet your maker today?

Day time or night time! Which turns you on?

Night Time! A time of passion! For many, a time of love or perhaps lust! For some people, it is none of these things. Instead, it is a time of dread and a time of fright. Many people are afraid to go out at night. Women do “Take Back the Night” marches to show they are not afraid to be out. People buy dogs for the protection they afford so that they can walk safely in their own neighborhoods.

For others, it is a time to turn the lights off and get into bed as early as possible. Let the night end so a new day can begin might be their motto. There are night people and there are day people. People who are love the night are called Night Owls and people who live for the day are Larks. For the day person, the night holds no allure. It is simply a time to go to bed. If you are a day person, you wilt as the night comes on. Like a flower, you start to close up on yourself and look forward to the comfort of your bed. Day people live by the maxim, “early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Night people blossom as the sun sets and the darkness enfolds their surroundings. It is then that night people start to come out of their cocoons. Their energy picks up and they seem to grow stronger and more animated as the night comes on. At midnight, they turn into Cinderellas, while day people turn into pumpkins. What happens when a night person mates with a day person? It can be a source of never ending misunderstandings and adjustments for both sides.

Day people are witty and energetic as soon as the sun peeps into their bedrooms. They are anxious to jump out of bed and start a new day. The night person just wishes they would shut up and go back to sleep. The roles are reversed when it is dark and late. The night person abounds with energy and vitality and can party and socialize all night. The day person can hardly keep their eyes open or they have already fallen asleep on a couch somewhere.

Can we change our patterns? Can a night person become a day person or vice versa? Some scientists believe that night and day predispositions have a genetic basis and that they cannot be changed. If you are born a night person, you will always be a night person. Born a day person and you will always be up at the crack of dawn while the night person is keeping the shades down so the sunlight cannot filter in. Perhaps night persons have some vampire blood in their ancestry.

Which are you, a night person or a day person? How do your feelings differ between dawn and dusk? Do you notice your energy rising or falling as the day progresses? Do you have a hard time understanding those with a different predisposition? Have you ever tried to reverse your roles? Where you successful?

Do men and women view time differently? Part 2

Men Time and Women Time was a subject I raised in the preceding reflection. Do men and women perceive time differently? Ruth Klein in “Time Management Secrets for Working Women” states:

“I find that women view time far differently from men. Women often perceive time as an enemy that prevents them from getting it all done, all the time. For some reason society has decided that even when a woman works she is still responsible for making sure that everything gets done at home—and to this end she never has enough time. It’s true that men also want to accomplish more in less time, but that nearly always means accomplishing tasks at work, with their hobbies, or with outside interests at home.”

A search on Google finds that several people have commented on the difference between men and women in respect to views of time. Personally, I have not yet seen anything I find convincing evidence that we do indeed view time differently. However, a great deal of anecdotal evidence would seem to support that there may be a difference in views. It has often been noted that men tend to see the world more linearly while women think more in terms of cycles. This may be due to the fact that with childbirth, women are more wired to think in terms of cycles. Men were once the hunters while women were the gatherers. Could these chores have led to a difference in how men see the world? Men seem to be more prone to certain forms of violence and accept aggression as more necessary than women do. How many wars have been started by women or even by men over issues that women would find important? The same is probably true for most fights.

Men also live shorter lives than women. While the difference in life spans is negligible, could it in some way contribute to a difference in how each gender sees the world? Even the way that men and women approach sex suggests that there may be a difference in the way that each perceives time. Men are ready for sex in the twink of an eye and are over in about the same time. Women approach sex more slowly and once ready will easily outlast most men.

What do you think about this question? If you were asked whether men and women viewed time differently, what would you answer? Do you think you view the world differently than the other gender? How? What are the differences you perceive? What do you think are the reasons for these differences?

How long is long? Do men and women perceive long differently?

How much longer? How much longer? How much longer will it take? From the point of view of the person waiting, longer can seem forever. From the point of view of one trying to get ready, longer may seem like a very short time. We say the movie was very long, the speech was very long; the job took a long time to get done. What this means is that we were not really excited about the time we had to wait. Long is not a very precise word, but it generally denotes a length of time that is greater than we expected or more time than we wanted to spend.

In men speak, “how much longer” might be translated as “would you please hurry up, I would like to leave now.” In women speak; the answer might be “I still need to get ready, would you please stop rushing me.” If men and women have different language and thought patterns, do we differ in our conceptions of time and our methods for handling time? To some extent, there may be differences due to culture and social influences. However, I think the concept of long is more related to expectations and where expectations differ by culture then long will have a different meaning.

I was once told that Asians think in centuries, Europeans think in decades and Americans think in weeks. If you don’t agree about this, think of how obsessed American business is with the quarterly report and end of month figures, not to mention the daily stock market prices. Americans are very pragmatic, but we typically have a very short time horizon. Our conception of long is very short compared to other cultures. Hence, we think of a long war as anything over four years, where many cultures would think of a long war as lasting decades if not centuries.

How long is long for you? How long is long for your spouse or partner? Do you think gender plays a role in defining long? Does it vary depending on who is waiting and who is not? What role does patience play in waiting? What role does respect play? Do you hesitate to start things because they will “take too long?” What if you had more tolerance for “long” in your life?

Are you building your life on sand?

To speak of the “sands of time” provokes an image of shifting sands and dunes with the grains of sand being blown helter skelter. The shape of sand dunes is constantly changing and taking on new forms. Sand seems so weak and has such a lack of substance. We warn people not to build their house on sand. Sand is not a good foundation. Our lives and efforts can be like this sand. Think about how brief our accomplishments are when measured against the time line of progress. It is interesting that some achievements of humanity are still studied and talked about(for instance, the steam engine and polio vaccine) while the vast multitude of human efforts are long forgotten.

What makes some deeds and inventions so important and worthwhile that they will last as long as the sands continue to blow and shift? You are likely to say “well, they made a big impact on the human race or they made an important contribution to progress.” If so, were these events just random or were they as predetermined as evolution seems to be? Did we really choose these events, or did the events choose us?

If you could go back and reorder events, which ones would you redo or leave out? What if we had not invented the atom bomb? What if the very possibility of the atom bomb and relativity never existed? What if Einstein had never been born? How would the sands of time have been different? Alternatively, would the inevitable blowing and shifting still have caused the same patterns? Would we still have had Hitler and Stalin? What choices that you make today will affect your life tomorrow and the day after?

What accomplishments or efforts of your life will fit into the progress of the human race? What achievements or goals are you striving for that will be remembered in the sands of time? Are they worth the effort?

What if we could slow time down?

Your “time is running out!” is a familiar line from many crime movies. Usually, the villain has just given a long winded speech on why the hero or heroine will die and promises a painful death. Of course, we all know, the heroine will not die and she will find some way to get her time back. If the villain had just shut his/her mouth and done the job, the hero would not have had the time to get out alive. The villains never seem to figure out that giving the hero this extra time will allow them to survive. We could say that the hero/heroine has managed to put time back into the bottle.

The metaphor of “time in a bottle” evokes sands running out of an hourglass or a clock slowly counting down. For each of us, our time runs down each day. Our lives speed up with each passing day and the weeks fly by like days, then the months fly by like weeks, until finally the years seem to pass like months. If only we could slow down the speed, because our time is running out!

Have you ever wondered why time keeps running faster and faster? What if we could somehow make it slow down? Time becoming slower and slower and slower instead of faster and faster and faster. Can this be possible? Is it something we can control? I think we can. If we can make it go faster and faster, why can’t we make it go slower and slower? Most of us are bent on speeding it up and we are continually finding ways to make our time go faster and faster. Multitasking, driving while talking on the cell phone, working 24/7 are all ways we use to speed time up. What if we found as many creative ways to slow time down?

I used to do some canoe racing and was always trying to paddle as fast as I could to get from one point to another. One day an old friend and avid canoeist asked me if I ever stopped to smell the flowers. In his prime, he had been a formidable canoe racer and I highly respected his ability. He told me that he had wasted too much of his youth trying to get to places in a hurry and had missed many of life’s great opportunities. He now took time to smell the flowers. I began to do the same thing. I leaned that time does indeed slow down when you are smelling flowers. Life looks different when you stop watching the clock and find ways to slow things down. You begin to live and enjoy what you do and what you have.

Do you think life is moving too fast? Are your days mere blurs of activities? Do you move constantly from one thing to another? Would you like life to move slower? Have you ever thought of all the ways you could slow time down? You are in control of the speed with which your life goes by? Maybe you should find some ways to put on the brake. Make a list and see what you can do to slow things down in your world.

How much time can you give to help someone else?

“Just a minute, please.” How many times a day do you hear that phrase? When you do hear it, do you believe it? Of course not, but you are probably too polite to dispute it. This short phrase or perhaps request is often used regardless of the time that is really needed. It expedites action and compliance by simplifying a negotiation over the time that one really needs. Have you ever wanted to take out a stop watch and see how long that “minute” really is? Or, do you respond with, “well, I haven’t got a minute.” What if the other person said “just ten minutes please”, how would you respond to that request?

Sometimes we hear “just a second.” Now that request is really hard to believe. Do you have just a second? What in the world can possibly be done or said in a second? Do you think there is a difference between someone who requests a second and someone who requests a minute? Is this difference due to a personality type or are the “second” requestors just speedier then the “minute” requestors? Which camp do you fall in? Are you a minute or a second requestor? On the other hand, perhaps you simply ask for the time that you need. How many people do you know who really do this? When was the last time you said: “I need fifteen more minutes?”

Would life be easier if we were all more accurate? Of course, what would life be like if we could not spare a minute for someone else? What would the world come to if no one had a second to spare? Are you forever to busy to help others in need?

What is the "monster of time?"

The “Monster of Time” (Daniel 2) refers to a dream that the great Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar once had. He dreamed of a monster with a head of gold, chest of silver, belly of brass, and legs and feet of iron and clay. Nebuchadnezzar wanted to know what this dream meant. His court advisors would not tell him. Many were afraid to do an interpretation since it might mean death for the interpreter if the King did not agree with the interpretation. Daniel successfully interpreted this vision for the king. I say successfully, since Daniel survived and the king was happy. The interpretation followed a sequence of time in which the monster depicted represented the evolution of kingdoms that would supplant Nebuchadnezzar’s kingdom. The following is the interpretation of the monsters parts:

1.The head of gold - The Babylonian Empire of Nebuchadnezzar.
2.The breast and arms of silver - Persian Empire.
3.The belly and thighs of bronze - Greek Empire.
4.The legs of iron - Roman Empire. This is the kingdom Daniel said would be divided into two parts. The first Roman Empire is represented by the legs of iron. The second part of this kingdom, the revived Roman Empire, is represented by the feet and and toes made part of iron and part of clay.
5.The stone which destroyed all the other kingdoms - the coming kingdom of Jesus Christ.

One can only reflect ruefully that even 6000 years ago, time was a sort of monster. A monster that holds the past, present and future in its gruesome appendages to do with as it chooses.

This metaphor of time as a monster elicited my own vision of a “monster of time.” In my vision, time is a giant alarm clock. It has four hands. In one hand, it holds a scythe to strike your head off if you are late. In a second hand, it holds a set of rules to remind you of your obligations to friends, family and society. In it’s third hand, it holds a coffee and donut, which you will need to start the day. Finally, in its last hand, it holds an “endless” backwards mirror, in which you can see how you looked today when you awoke and how you looked yesterday and the day before and the day before. Of course, age incrementally each day until finally one day there is no vision in the mirror to awake.

Have you ever thought of time as a monster? What would your vision of the “monster of time” look like? There are an endless number of visions for time, see if you can create one that reflects how you live time or perhaps how you would not like to live time.

What destiny are you following that you could change for the better?

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing." (Macbeth, V, v, 19, Shakespeare)

The above passage is perhaps the most famous speech in literature, spoken by Macbeth after learning of his wife’s suicide. Why does this macabre and depressing analysis of life hold so much meaning for us? Is it because, like Macbeth, we sometimes feel a powerlessness and futility to life? What is our “recorded time?” Is this the time we are destined to live? Do you believe the time and date of your death is fixed? Many people call this destiny and believe they are powerless to change or alter their fate.

I think it might be inevitable to believe that we are fixed by fate and that life is controlled by forces and events beyond our power to influence. Nevertheless, we see countless examples of people who have changed the world for the better by denying the concept of predestination and fate. Macbeth brought his own destiny upon him by his greed and avarice. We go through life making choices and these choices decide what we will become. We are more than candles and poor players upon a stage. We may not quite be Nietzsche's Superman, but we are a great deal more than fools and idiots. We are not all powerful but neither are we powerless.

When I am confused about life, I like to reflect on the Serenity Prayer: “Please help me to know the difference between those things I can change and those things I cannot.” This is an example of pure wisdom. We can change some things and we cannot change others. What will you become if you do not try? What can you change today in your life? What needs to be changed that you have felt powerless to change? What destiny are you following that is painful? Who can you find that could help you change your life? There is always someone out there who can and will help you? Do you need to find that person today?

What are the impacts of quantum change on our lives?

Quantum changes represent breaks in the continuity of time. Linear time measures changes in specific fixed intervals. Quantum change happens when something “jumps”, i.e., it defies our normally ordered thinking about time. Sometimes, these special events are called discontinuities because they represent a break in the normal chain of events. Our lives in this country underwent a quantum change after 911. While we can argue about whether or not the bombings could have been prevented, there is little or no argument that they completely disrupted our life patterns not only in the US, but in other parts of the world. The changes 911 caused in the US had ripple patterns that have affected the entire history of many other nations and cultures.

Quantum changes seem to be unpredictable and can have enormous impacts on our lives. Getting married or divorced might be a quantum change for some people. Death though predictable as to the eventuality is not predictable as to the time and manner. Death can cause quantum changes in the lives of many people connected in some way to the loved one. Even distant connections can be impacted by the death of someone we know or hear about. Witness, how many people were affected by the death of Princess Diana.

Remember the John Donne poem:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

How will your death affect others? Who will be most affected? What long-term changes will your death have on the lives of others in the world?

Who would not want to be wiser and younger?

Chronos in Greek mythology was the god of Time or the god of the ages. When something is arranged “chronologically”, it means it is ordered in time, usually from oldest to most recent. I once heard someone say, it is a shame we are not born backwards. If we were, as we grew older and hopefully wiser, we would also grow younger and healthier. This is an interesting idea but not likely to happen soon. We read every day about a mythical fountain of youth or some magic that will unlock the aging process and we will never grow old. There are researchers looking to find a cure for aging who believe that ageing could be cured as we cure any other disease. Imagine taking a pill or a shot to cure “old” age.

I am not going to hold my breath for any of these aging fixes. Of course, I may just have my body frozen cryogenically so that I can be revived at some time in the future when our health systems have cured whatever disease I die from, including old age. . Or I may just be cremated and have my ashes scattered to the four winds so I can become part of the universe again. I have not decided which path I will take. Then again, my spouse just may see fit to bury me alongside of her. Karen refuses to have me stuffed, which I thought was a good way to keep me around and in memory.

What will become of you when you die? Will you be buried, frozen, cremated or stuffed? How do you want your memory retained by others? Does it matter to you?

Can time trap us in a prison of non-living?

Time can be a prison. My friend Bruce says “We live either projecting into the past or the future and we seldom reside in the eternal now. The present moment is eternal and time traps us into living in some other present but not in our current reality. Time becomes a prison from which escape is futile. We cannot escape our past, our present or our future. We live only in the moment and there is no escape from that.”

There have been numerous time travel stories wherein the hero/heroine is about to have some disaster befall them and suddenly time travel kicks in and they are whisked from one time period to another time. But this ability to escape our destiny by being whisked from one time period to another is still a fantasy.

Time is a prison in other ways as well. Some of us are trapped in an image of ourselves that may have changed or evolved but we cannot recognize this fact. Some of us may be trapped in memories of things long gone. Some of these memories may be accurate but some may be pure myth. It is amazing how events can evolve with the passing of time. Our memories of reality may bear very little resemblance to what really happened. Some of us are trapped in the future. We dream of things to come or wish we were someone else. Dreams can be prisons if we do not take the energy and risk to make them become reality.

The only reality is the present moment and what you are doing this second. You cannot be stuck in the present since the present only exists for a moment. As soon as you think about the present, it is over. Your dreams and regrets have or will have become fantasies and myths. If time is a prison, is there any escape? Some of us may try our entire lives to escape from time but the prison of time exists only in your mind. Change your thoughts and you can leave this prison anytime you want to. What things about your life do you want to change? What keeps you living in the past? What do you have to do to accomplish your dreams for the future? Are you living in the present?

What are the times of happiness?

It is a time of happiness. After thinking about times of sorrow, it seems right that we should reflect on the times of happiness in our lives. It is easy to forget the times of happiness when we are feeling pain or sorrow. As in the sorrows in our life, most of the things that bring us the greatest happiness have to do with people. Money, possessions, material goods and things never bring true happiness.

Karen and I have gone on many trips over the years to other countries. We have been to over 33 countries and almost all of the US and Canada. On several of these trips (but not all) we have been fortunate to make friends with people. Sometimes, it has been with local people we met accidently and other times it was with people we stayed with or did some business with on our trip. Without a doubt, the trips where we met people have been our most fun, memorable and happiest trips. Sartre is reputed to have written that: “Hell is other people.” Perhaps this is true at times but it is even truer that “Happiness is other people.” People bring us the joy and pleasure in our lives. People create the warmth and empathy that validate our existence and our undertakings. Things and objects do not validate or create warmth or support. When you are down or feeling depressed, you cannot talk to your car or boat or house. When you want to feel recognized for something you have accomplished, your things will not provide such recognition.

Whether it is your family, your children, your spouse or your friends, there is hardly a day that goes by when you are not thinking about them, playing with them or working with them in some way. All of these interactions are what life is really about. It is not about richness in things, it is about richness in people. The time that we spend with people brings happiness and joy to our lives. True, people can disappoint, hurt and disrespect you, but eventually you move on and look for new relationships or you try to rebuild and make your old relationships better. The time that you spend building relationships with people will be rewarded many times over. Would we spend so much time on relationships if people truly were hell?

Think about all the happiness in your life today. Think about your past happiness. Who has helped to bring joy to your life? What relationships do you need to spend more time on? What relationships need to be changed? Spending time on relationships will be the most valuable time you can ever spend.

What does a time of sorrow mean to you?

Have you ever been told “It is a time of sorrow?” There are many times of sorrow for each of us in our lives. As much as we may try to escape these sorrowful times, they are inescapable. From birth to death, our lives are punctuated by times of sorrow. Fortunately, our sorrows are interspersed with happiness. Each of handle sorrow in different ways, but we all share the pain, grief and suffering that goes with it.

Most sorrow comes from loss, loss of people we love or care about. While we might have sorrow over things, it is never as deep or painful as sorrow over people or even pets that we loved. The loss of a loved one seems to leave a hole that never quite fills. We continue to think about them long after they have gone. Little things bring back the memories and times we shared. Sometimes, we think happily but wistfully about what might have been or what we should have done or said.

Sometimes the sorrow is deep and sometimes not so deep, but always it will be lingering. Remember the song, “I am a man of constant sorrow.” I think that song resonated with many of us because life sometimes seems overwhelmed by sorrows. As we grow older, we face more and more of these sorrows. We know that it is inevitable that our friends, pets, relatives and loved ones will pass away. We know that we too shall pass. However, it isn’t our coming death that is most sorrowful for us. In fact, of all the people whom we know will die in our lives; our own death will probably be the easiest. Our spouses or parents will most likely be the hardest.

I joke with Karen that I want to go first, but we both know it is no joke. I am being selfish. I don’t want to deal with the sorrow. The number of spouses that die very shortly after their loved ones seems beyond mere coincidence. It is hard to continue life without someone who loves you or someone whom you have spent most of your life with. It may be easier to fact death than to face sorrow. How do you deal with sorrow? What sorrows linger in your life? Do you honor or ignore your feelings of pain and grief? Do you accept the sorrow that some days bring or do you try to ignore and shut it out?

What can the wisdom of Solomon tell us about time and life?

“There is a time for sowing and a time for reaping, a time to give birth, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.” – (Solomon, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

This psalm from Solomon is perhaps the greatest quote on time ever. It is undeniably recognized the world over for its profound wisdom. It reflects a world where everything has a place and a purpose and the role of time is an overarching foundation for the purpose of life. Today we weep for a lost friend or spouse, tomorrow we rejoice over a marriage or birth. Today we fight a war for justice and tomorrow we negotiate for peace.

We think we control time. We believe that we control life and even our own destinies. The reality is that we have control over some things and some (perhaps the vast majority) we do not. Solomon’s wisdom counsels us to accept the ups and downs of life. It speaks to life as a flow wherein everything has its place. It counsels us to develop our own wisdom as we progress through life and face its inevitable joys and sorrows. Do not be saddened by the burdens of life, for tomorrow is always a new day and it will bring new times and new opportunities. You have as much to be optimistic over as you do pessimistic. Optimistic people are happier and live longer.

We may not always be able to control time but we can always choose how we want to spend our time. We choose our attitudes and we chose the meaning of time to us at any given moment. I can decide to do what I think is important today or I can spend my day in trivial pursuits. I can work today to make the world a better place or I can bemoan the lack of good TV programs and its excessive commercialism. Some days I will be successful and others I will not be in controlling my time. Perhaps today is a time for failure and tomorrow will be a new opportunity.

What is your time for today? Life is often a series of cycles, do you live and accept your cycles or do you try to force your time according to some schedule? Do you accept the ups and downs of life? What downs are the most difficult for you to accept?

Do you love a rainy day?

I love a rainy day. I don’t need to justify that “April showers bring May flowers.” While many people moan and groan about rainy cold drizzly days, I actually revel in them. Something in me feels peace and tranquility on a rainy day. For years, I simply accepted that I enjoy the “dreary” days that put most people off. My friends and spouse think me crazy because I greet the rainy days of spring and fall with the same alacrity that they greet the sunny warm days of summer. Something in my nature loves the way that time moves on a damp rainy day. Whether it is simply drizzling or a full blown thunderstorm, there is something on those days that my soul resonates with.

After years of feeling out of sync with other people, I decided to try and figure out why I love a rainy day. The explanation I came up with had to do with my father’s rules about how I could spend my time. On “nice”days, I was supposed to go outside and play. On “bad” days, I could stay inside and do whatever I wanted to or do nothing at all. I could hear my father saying to me “get your butt outside, it’s too nice to stay inside.” I found this insight rewarding since I now understood a childhood rule that governed how I spent my time and indirectly what I could do and not do. Rainy days were “bad” days, so I got to spend my time doing what I wanted to do. Nice days (sunny and warm), I had to go out and do chores and go out and “be busy.” On rainy days I could curl up inside and read a good book and not have to do anything or go anywhere. I could just be. Time and rain were intimately related. I became a lover of rain because it meant freedom and all the time to spend as I wanted to spend it.

I am now free to break this rule whenever I want to. Insight conveys power. Nevertheless, I still love rainy days, but every so often, I choose to do nothing at all on a nice SUNNY day. I chose to reverse my father’s rule. Understanding our hidden rules about time can be a liberating experience. Do you know what your hidden rules are about time? What messages do you tell yourself about how, when and where you can spend your time? Where did you get these messages? What messages that you received have kept you from doing things you would like to do? Are you free to break your rules now when you want to? What would help free you from rules that don’t add any value or meaning to your life?

Don't have enough time to get things done?

Is the day running out and you still have a lot to do? There does not seem like there is enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. How often do you feel that your day has run out and you have not accomplished anything?

I begin some days with great intentions to work, exercise, write, get some chores done or start a new project. Something interrupts my momentum and it can be all down hill from there. A friend calls unexpectedly. I run out of something and have to go to the store to find a replacement. The car breaks down. The weather is good, bad or terrible. There are a million things that can turn my best plans into rubbish. I started off on the right foot, but the left foot never hit the ground.

Some days my momentum never starts. I don’t even start off on the right foot. I have all of these good intentions but I just do not have the energy. Perhaps life seems overwhelming or I feel depressed or I ate too much the day before. I want to crawl into a hole and hide. I feel like a failure and the day has not even begun. I need to get kick started. I need a coach or something to get me motivated. As my day begins to run out, I may try to put on a last minute burst of work to get some things done, or I might just say the heck with it. I will do it tomorrow.

Maybe, how we feel at the beginning of the day is life sending us a message. “Take it easy today; you have been stressing yourself out too much.” Or, “Get in gear, you are full of energy and today is a great day to get things done.” We need to allow life to talk to us and to follow our natural rhythms of ups and downs. Not every day is a barn burner or “I just climbed Mt. Everest day.” Life is a series of energy cycles. Allow a cycle of work, play and rest to become part of your life. Maybe we would all live longer and enjoy life more if we had more “down” days.

Does your life seem to follow natural cycles of play, rest and work? How do you think your life would be if it did? What would you have to change to create a more natural cycle time in your life? When was the last time you had a day just running out and you really did not care?

What if you could have more time in your life?

Is Time running up or is time running down? Yes, we usually hear the phrase “time is running down”, but what if time were running up? It’s hard to conceive of the idea since we are all so conditioned to think of time as only running one way. We use up time which causes us to think of it as running out or down. But think of time as a substance. For instance, if time were like water, you could fill a cup up with it. You could pour time into the cup. Instead of time running out, you have time running in. The problem would seem to be to find a faucet from which to refill your cup with time.

If time and money are interchangeable then we should be able to amass time. Just as a bank account can grow, so should a time account be able to grow. What if today instead of turning 60, I turned 59. Impossible you say. However, what if I turned back the clock by stopping smoking? What if I stopped drinking and started exercising? What if I gave up some unhealthy actions, overcame cancer, stopped speeding, reduced stress, moved to a safer neighborhood? If I did any of these actions, I could literally refill my life with extra time. Time would then be running up for me. The more healthy actions I take, the more my time would run up. If you do not believe this is possible, look at insurance charts that denote lifespan and longevity. On the average, the less health risks you have, the longer you will live. Thus, eliminate each health risk and you will refill your cup with more time for living. Not only will you have more time for living, but it will be higher quality time as you will be healthier and happier.

Have you ever seen anyone that suddenly looked younger instead of older? How many people do you know that have time running up for them? Which way is your time going? What could you do to put some time back into your cup? Maybe it will never run over, but it is possible to fill it up a little bit every so often. What is one action could you take today to refill your cup of time?

What are the symbols of time that matter to you?

Time can and often is represented by a symbol or object. Some of the more notable symbols include: pendulums, the New Year’s baby, count down music, sun dials, rust, cobwebs, dust, the Grim Reaper, tarot cards, astrology signs, old shoes, antiques, and there are many more. These symbols or objects have all become associated with the passage of time for various reasons. The Grim Reaper represents death while the New Year’s baby represents birth. Rust and cobwebs both represent something old. Count down music, sun dials and hour glasses represent the passage of time. Each object has a history and its own association with time. Merely seeing one of these objects creates a myriad of associations within our minds as to time and its relevance to our lives.

Perhaps one of our most familiar and lovable associations lies in our fascination with antiques. Some people love antiques simply because they are old. In the original Star Trek series, Captain Kirk loved old books. This perplexed Lt. Spock since he felt that e-readers and the computer reader were much more practical. Spock could not fathom the need to associate with a symbol of the past. Most antiques represent some type of emotional association for us. The old desk that was just like our grandfathers desk. The egg beater that was just like the one our mom used to make us pancakes with every Sunday morning after church. Antiques remind us of the past and of our own transience in the present. They bring the past to life and help us to live it over and over again. Our Grandfather and mom can live on in the antiques we surround ourselves with. Symbols have meaning in the present due to the emotional attachments they help to recreate.

What are some symbols of time that are important to you? What symbols help you connect to your past? What are some antiques that you most dearly love? What meaning and emotions do these have for you? Why? Do you value old things more or new? Why? What if there were no antiques in the world?

Can we turn back the hands of time?

We have all hear the phrase or said “I wish I could turn back the hands of time.” Have you ever thought how this could be done with a digital clock? We no longer can turn back hands. We now must press buttons. Thus, progress and time marches on and on and on. However, what if we could get progress to march backwards? What if we could turn back the hands of time? Imagine all the events that it would be possible to alter. Would we be smart enough to prevent disasters? For instance, what if we could go back to the beginning of WW II? Would we be able to find a way to stop Hitler and the Holocaust? What if we could go back to the assassination of Julius Caesar? You could grab him by the toga and warn him that his best friend was going to kill him. Do you think he would believe you? If there were a way to turn the clock back, who would have the power to do so? Can you imagine everyone running back into history to change things? Who would decide what to change?

But let us imagine just for today, that you had the power to turn your clock back. What time would you turn it back to? Where would you turn it back to? Then what would you do? What would you use your power to change or do differently? Would you try to save the world or simply undo some stupid things that you personally did?

Sadly, we all seem to forget that while we can not take back any actions or words that hurt others in the past, we can make amends for them today. What if you made a list of things that you would like to change in the past and started today to make amends for those things? Could you pick one thing you would like to make amends for each week and work on it? How would you feel? How would this change your life? You really do control your own destiny and perhaps can turn back the hands or as least digits of time.