How much run time is running your life?

We often hear the word “run-time” but what does this word really mean? Technically, it refers to the time that a computer is running a program. Personally, I think of it as the time I spend running my computer and the time I must spend to deal with it. I have too much “run time” in my life. My computer often feels like it is running my life: emails, spam messages, viruses, run-time errors and other problems caused by this high-tech piece of equipment. I often joke that when I retire I am going to drop my computer into the biggest lake I can find or use it as a boat anchor while fishing.

We invent labor saving devices to save labor and they end up taking over our lives and costing us our sanity. Computers, cell phones, PDA’s and Blackberries have become Frankenstein like monsters. We can’t live without them. Some people take them to bed or even in their showers. They become an extra appendage. We have portable batteries and portable rechargers so that we never run out of energy for these devices. While the devices may never run out of energy, we sure do. Human beings were not designed to be run 24-7. We need downtime as well as runtime and even more rest time or perhaps some relaxation time. Our ubiquitous productive tools beep, ring, chirp, hiss and vibrate at us in a never ending chorus to get us to be more productive. Several popular science fiction stories have foretold the day when robots that take over and enslave civilization. Perhaps that day has already arrived.

Are you controlled by your computer or other labor saving productivity tool? Can you turn it off for a day or leave it home? What would happen if you did? Who will get mad at you if you do not answer their email today? How far behind the curve would you be if you did not answer your cell phone today? What might it do for your stress level if you had less “run-time” in your life? What if you had a “down time” day once a week? Do you have a cell-phone ringtone for compassion and kindness?

Well, folks, I am going to Belize today and will not be back until the 5th of April. I am going to get ten days of "downtime." I will be back on the 5th and resume my blog then. Hopefully, I will use this time to think of some creative blog ideas and to rejuvenate my life. John

How about writing your eulogy today?

Have you ever written your eulogy? A eulogy is a formal memorial speech delivered when someone dies and usually at their funeral. We have all been to a funeral where we were very moved by the oration that a friend, family member or pastor gave. Most of the time, these were written after the person died. Sometimes they hit the mark and really describe the person and other times not as well. What someone would say about us, might not be what we would want to say ourselves. Unfortunately, there is no coming back after the fact to write our own eulogy. However, you can write one now.

Why would anyone want to write their own eulogy you might ask? Not because you will be better able to tell the truth about yourself; though this would be a pleasant change from the usual glowing eulogies. The answer is because it can help you to see what is most important in your life. It will help you to address the issue of whether you are really working towards what is important. When you are dead and buried will you be remembered for what you were trying to accomplish in life? Perhaps not! But perhaps thinking about what you would like to be remembered for now can help focus you on your goal.

This is a common exercise in many human relations classes. It is very simple. Just imagine that you are at your own funeral. The speaker is up on the podium getting ready to talk about you to the assemblage of friends and families. What would you like that person to say about you? What activities, events, goals and aspirations do you want to be remembered for? Write them all down. You have now written your own eulogy.

Now for the hard part! Looking over your eulogy, how does it sound? Is it realistic? Do you think someone would really say that about you now? Why or why not? What would you have to do to change in your life to make your eulogy real? How much time do you have to change your life around? It is never to late too start!

Do you understand process time?

Process time is a common term in business. When I first started doing TQM (Total Quality Management) consulting, it became very important to start thinking of everything in business as a process. The key to process consulting was to believe that all processes could be improved if they were first understood. Using TQM methods, we could better understand all organizational processes and continuously improve them thereby lowering costs, improving productivity and increasing customer satisfaction. The atom of business was the process and to understand the business, you had to understand the core processes.

I soon came to realize that these same concepts could be used to improve my personal and family life. I began to realize that everything we do in life is a process and that by better understanding those key processes that affect my life, I could also continuously improve my family and personal life. There are communication processes, argument resolution processes, financial processes, vacation time processes, family together time processes, personal growth processes, child rearing processes, retirement processes and many others. The more I understand them and how they can be continually improved, the better my life is. Indeed, by applying the same principles to may life that make a business successful, I have learned to improve my life and vice versa. Whatever affects my personal life affects my business life.

The task of “process understanding” is not an easy one. In fact, it is never ending. There is always more to be understood when studying a process. The major consideration is that you never have to be perfect. The more you understand the better things will get. We spend all of our lives engaged in process time activities. It only makes sense to look at what we are doing and try to find a better way to do it. What key processes affect your life? Which of these are you improving and which of these are you ignoring? Why are you ignoring them? What processes could you do more work on to improve? How could you start? Would it make a difference in your life? Then why not start now? Who could help you get started?

How much "Dead Time" do you have?

What does it mean when we say it is: “Dead Time?” One definition is: “Dead time is the time on a job lost by a worker without his fault.” A second definition deals with time that cannot be recorded between two events as measured by some type of electronic measuring device. Dead time for us personally seems to be the time in our lives when we cannot accomplish anything due to some problem or failure that literally stops time for us. In my life, dead time is the time just before I fall asleep or the time when I am waiting in traffic and cannot do any work. It is the time that it takes in the morning for my mind and body to start functioning.

Each of us has many examples of dead time in our lives. Some of us have more of it then others. Often, we try to find ways to make such dead time productive but it is not always possible to do so. Cell phones have enabled a great many people to use the “dead time” while driving to and from work to make important business calls or transactions. Some people make this “dead time” productive by playing book CD’s in their tape drives and using the time to learn something or to be entertained. We have a great many instances of dead time in each of our lives. Some of these times are foreseeable and inevitable. Some happen randomly and unexpectedly. Like, when you are taking a short ride and get stuck in a major traffic jam. You can easily lose an hour or so when this happens.

How much dead time do you have in your life each day? What do you do with your dead time? Are you able to turn it into some productive use? Could you use it to relax or even to meditate? Few of us do enough relaxing or meditating. Either of these could be a very productive use of time. Does dead time really have to be dead? It all depends on your creativity.

How much downtime do you have?

Downtime! How that one word strikes joy in our hearts. Historically, it is derived from a machine or system that is no longer up and running. Today, it means that your computer system at work has crashed and you cannot get anything done. When IT systems crash today, we are all in a quandary with what to do during downtime. Nevertheless, there is real joy during periods of enforced downtime. The opposite of downtime is uptime. When was the last time you heard anybody excited about uptime? As in, “boy, I hope we can have more uptime today!” Not very likely! Uptime is taken for granted since uptime is when things are running normal and we are expected to be creative, productive and industrious. We cannot goof off during uptime since the machines and computers are running and all systems are set on go. Thus, we go, go, go. We become like machines ourselves, except we cannot turn off between 9-5 unless we have lunch or a scheduled break. Downtime gives us a brief but unexpected break from our daily tedium.

We may all need more downtime in our lives. However, downtime is not promoted as a value or as something to aspire to. Have you ever heard of anyone negotiating downtime in their contract? Have you ever heard of a Union arguing for more downtime? Downtime is regarded as the enemy of productivity. Vacations, holidays, time off, sick days are all a form of “planned downtime.” However, many of us are too busy to take “planned downtime.” Some of us run and run until stress or illness forces downtime. The body takes over and says “enough is enough.” We all know people who never take breaks or who seem to always be on the go. Then the day comes when their system crashes and illness or stress puts them in bed or the hospital. Many of us do not take good care of ourselves to prevent stress and thus avoid “system downtime.”

Do you ever plan your own downtime or do you wait until either you or your computer crashes? What stops you from taking a needed rest or unenforced period of downtime? Are you really so essential to the job or activity that you cannot take a break? Can the world live without you for a day or so? Stress is a major cause of illness and most of us have too much in our lives. Perhaps if you plan your own downtime today you can look forward to your uptime tomorrow.

Are you an analog or a digital person?

Digital time versus Analog time. Have you ever thought that the world could be divided into two kinds of information? Analog is where the information is a continuous flow. Examples are the old 33 1/3 LP records. Watches with a sweep hand are another example of analog time. Now we have digital CD’s and DVD’s which are numerically encoded. Watches with a sweep and hour hand are more of a fashion item today and many of us wear digital watches. Even digital watches are being replaced by those who use cell phones for their time needs. Movies are now becoming digitized where they had been primarily analog. The new 3D movies use digitization methods for their effects. Of course, computers are the essence of digitization. Everything we do with our computers is based on bytes and bits.

Digitization is remaking our world. While analog signals once ruled the information world, today we are living in a digital world where information flow is ruled by numbers. Does it make any difference? Some people argue that the old type of records had better fidelity than the new digital records. Many researchers find that qualitative information (interviews, focus groups) is more useful than the quantitative information found in surveys, Gallup Polls and other numerical rating systems. There are pro’s and con’s to each system but there is little doubt that digital signals are replacing analog signals in our emerging global interconnected marketplace.

In terms of personal time, are you a digital or an analog person? Digital people see the world broken into discrete increments of time, like minutes and seconds. Digital people must multi-task to manage their time. They cannot stop moving from texting to emailing to blogging to tweeting. Analog people see the world as a continuous stream of activities and events. Analog people go with the flow and tackle tasks one at a time. The analog person will rely on the phone or voice mail to make connections to the rest of the world.

If you are a digital person, how do you think your view would be changed today if you thought like an analog person? Vice versa, if you are an analog person, how do you think the world would look today to you if you thought like a digital person? Can you switch perspectives or do you find it impossible to think in such a contrary manner? How do you think your children see the world? Do they see it as a continuous flow of action or as a series of discrete events? Can you see the difference it makes in how we view the world and how each generation responds to it?

Are you obsessed with being on time?

Late-Late-Late! We all know people who are late all of the time. Late to events, late to work, and some would joke, even late to their own funerals. It is easy to find excuses for being late and we could each name a dozen “excuses.” People who are chronically late would call these reasons and not excuses. To those of us who make a point or habit of being on time, it is very difficult to tolerate the lateness of others. We see it as inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless. We see it as preventable with some advance planning and foresight. Nevertheless, we don’t seem to be decreasing incidents of lateness in the world or changing those who are chronically late.

Maybe, those of us who are chronically on time are the real problem. Was the world really meant to be run by a clock? Maybe the punctual have capitulated while the “latecomers” are the real rebels. Fighting against the dictates of the almighty clock and the culture of promptness ushered in by our advanced industrial and digital society. Perhaps, the “latecomers’ are living time in a more natural manner where life is based on cycles and not on a clock. The punctual person is driven by the time of day and the time designated by a tacit contract. The meeting will start at 8 AM. Be there or be late. The latecomer is driven by their own necessities and by an inner clock: “It is still dark out;”
“I am too tired to get up yet;” “So what if I come late, it’s not the end of the world;” “I have more important priorities;” or “I don’t feel like rushing.” The punctual person is horrified by these excuses: “What, I broke my neck to get here on time and the meeting was cancelled.” Life is not fair to the punctual person. But what do we tell our kids about the fairness of life?

Do you suppose hell is a place where everyone must be on time or suffer even worse punishments? Hard to imagine what could already be worse than hell. What happens to the late comers in hell then? What about the punctual? Are the places in heaven guaranteed only for the punctual? Can you be punctual and still go to hell?

As you go through today, how obsessed are you with being on time? Is there a place in your life for “time cycles” and not clock time? What if you are late? What difference will it make? Can you be late and not feel obsessed? What does it mean to walk a line between obsessive punctuality and perpetual lateness?

How do you perceive time in your life?

My “Perceived Flow of Time” changes depending on what I am going to do and when I do it. Perceived time is what time feels like for us on a personal level. It has nothing to do with what the clock says. It is a mental state regarding the flow of time in our individual lives. Perceived time can be slow or fast depending on our circumstances and what we are doing. For example, I seem to need at least eight hours of sleep during the workweek, however on the weekends, I am up about two hours earlier than during the workweek and I am anxious and ready to go. I don’t need as much time to sleep and I feel fuller of energy on less sleep. This is a mental message being sent by my brain to my body. I perceive my world of time differently on the weekend than I do during the week. This perception enables me to do more with less. I know that it is due to my expectations but it is interesting to see the extra energy I have when the time is all mine and I do not have one commitment and appointment after another. Weekends can fly by while weeks pass much more slowly.

My flow of time during the week is also very different from event to event. Time seems to drag by during some tasks and fly by during others. When I have to go out and run during the cold Minnesota winter, the minutes and miles seem to take much more effort and time then running during the late spring and early fall. When I am starting a new project and unsure about what to do, the time seems to flow by very slowly. Conversely, when I am really having fun with a task or really enjoying myself, time seems to pass in a flicker of thought.

Have you ever noticed how your perception of time changes depending on what you are doing and whom you are doing it with? Watch your time today. Don’t judge it or criticize it but just observe it. How does your flow of time seem to change for you? How is it different for you during the workweek and during the weekend? Does it change much? What do you think changes the flow of time for you? Are you satisfied with how time flows in your life? What would you like to change about it? What would you like to remain the same? Change your thoughts about time and you change the flow of time.

What if today was timeless?

Linear time is the means by which most of us think of time. We count our time from when we are born to when we die. We measure history as a series of events beginning with the first in recorded history to the most recent. By definition, by usage, by convenience and by all the other ways we measure time; it would appear to flow in a straight line and in only one direction. The direction is from the past to the future.

However, what if time were not always linear? Have you ever noticed how “time flies” when you are having fun or enjoying yourself? When this happens, time no longer seems to be linear. It is experienced as more of a happening. A happening is something that seems almost without measure or without the ability to sense any “flow” of time. During a “happening” events and time merge and we do not notice time passing by. Depending on the event, it could pass by in a flash or it could seem like it was standing still. A moment can sometimes seem like an eternity and an eternity can sometimes seem like a moment. When you are having fun, you do not notice time passing nor can you measure your fun in terms of minutes and seconds. Imagine someone telling you to have fun for 30 minutes or so and then stop.

Some of us might wish we had more of these happenings when time was non-existent. How many of you would like to stop the clock or get off the train someplace where no one knew or cared what time it was. Do you ever get tired of tracking the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years of existence? What if there was no such thing as time? Sadly we would not have a recollection of some of the great moments in life. How often do you look back at past happenings and treasure them as timeless. We only wish they had never stopped or could be repeated again and again.

What if today could be a day without time for you? What if you did not have to think about time even once today? Could that possibly happen? Can you imagine a “timeless” day? If it was, what would your day be like? What would it take to help you to forget time today? What if you lived one second at a time and did not worry about the past or the future? Would your life be better or worse without time?

What is the cost of your soul?

Better-Faster-Cheaper, that’s the mantra for business and society in the 21st century. If we can’t do it, better, faster and cheaper, then some other company or country will. We are on a never ending treadmill where according to economists, we the consumer, benefit infinitely. We gain better and better products at lower and lower prices. Wal-Mart became the largest corporation in the world with its “Always the Lowest” strategy. We may complain about foreign goods and foreign workers and off-shoring jobs but it does not prevent us from buying the lowest priced goods we can find.

However, there are costs to this never ending gain which we have no way to calculate. There is more and more pressure to buy, buy, buy and spend, spend, spend. There is the gut level need to keep up with the Jones. There is the overwhelming obsession with having more and more stuff. Image takes precedence over substance. We live in a designer world with designer clothes, designer toys, designer dogs and designer people. We are all chasing an illusion of uniqueness through a maze of materialism. It is a game of smoke and mirrors and while we may think we are in a Fun House, it often is really a Mad House. We spend more than we can afford and more than we earn so we can present an image that reflects what the rest of the world thinks we should look like. We have t-shirts which read “shop till you drop” and “he who has the most toys win.” We lose our souls to gain a few more precious pieces of tomorrow’s obsolete junk.

Do material goods, regardless of quality, make us happier? No one wants inferior products, or to return to a primeval lifestyle, but how much is enough? Can we say, there are never enough goods and services? What about time? What about the quality of the time you spend in your pursuit of things? How much money would you give for one more year to live if you were going to die tomorrow? Are you calculating the cost of your time in your effort to be a designer person? What about the value of the time lost playing this game of trivial pursuit? Maybe we could find a mantra to live and work by that would focus more on happiness and less on things. What if we said that: “those who win have the most soul?” “What doth it profit a man if he gains the whole world and suffers the loss of his own soul?" (Mark and Matthew in the New Testament)

How much time do you have today?

FedEx has become one of the largest corporations in the world by expediting the packages that we send and receive. The United States Postal Service (USPS) left a wide open gap in the market by being more hum drum about the time it takes to send and receive packages. Little did the Postal Service realize the increased priority that people were placing on time! This created an incredible opportunity that was fulfilled by both FedEx and United Parcel Service. In today’s market place, someone will always jump into an opportunity and fulfill it. Products and services can always be: better, faster and cheaper. Faster is on of the three prime factors that can confer a competitive advantage. Time is money and money is time.

How many opportunities do you think are still out there in respect to time? If you could think about it differently, do you think you might find a great opportunity? I believe there are hundreds if not millions of opportunities still waiting for the wise entrepreneur in the area of time. Time is the most important item that anyone has and yet while we measure the Gross National Product (GNP) in terms of products and services, there are no measures for “GNT” or Gross National Time. There are no measures of PCT (per capita time). PCT could tell us how well as a nation we are doing in respect to managing time. Time is one of our most valuable assets and yet we continue to act like it is of less importance than capital or products.

How much “Per Capita Time” do you have each week left over after all your “chores” and works are done? Are you a rich person or a poor person in regards to time? Do you have more time than you need or do you have less? How could you find more time in your life for the things you really want to do?

How about "Daylight Spending Time?

Daylight Savings Time (DST) is an oxymoron. Who ever saved any time! Spring forward and fall back? So what, longer days, more time to do work, who needs it? I would like more hours of darkness, and then I could sleep longer and work less. If I work more, how am I saving time? Karen says we are really saving energy. That seems like an even bigger joke. We waste tons of energy with fuel inefficient cars and an oil based economy but we get religion twice a year and “save” energy?

If I work harder and longer, how am I saving energy? I feel like I am spending more energy every day trying to stay ahead or even just keep up. With DST, I get up earlier and work later. I can tell you a better way for us to save energy. Find a way for me to sleep longer. I would then be able to stay in my nice warm bed, keep the electric lights off, stay out of my inefficient gas guzzling car and not turn on anything in the world that consumes energy. I could stay under my nice warm blankets cuddled up with my warm spouse and keep the heat down as well. If I did not need to get out of bed, the house would not need to be heated. That would be one big energy savings.

So my suggestion for a new energy saving bill would be to mandate one day per week when no one would have to get out of bed. We could call the new policy “Daylight Spending Time.” One day per week, every loyal citizen would do their part to help the energy crisis by simply spending more time in bed. You could read a book, watch TV, get to know your partner better, play cards or have breakfast, lunch and supper in bed. Think of all the things you could do with a whole day in bed. Think of the benefits to the economy. The traffic congestion on roads would be lowered. Highway construction would be less of a necessity as less people used the roads. We would have fewer accidents. Insurance rates would go down. Gas savings would be astronomical. Road Rage would abate and stress levels and heart disease would go down. People who read more would be better educated and we could even institute a “read in bed and get your degree program.” More educated people would be happier people.

What if you had nowhere to go and nothing to do today and you could spend the entire day in bed? What would you do? Have you ever spent a day in bed when you were not sick? What was it like? What if every week, you had one extra day and you could just spend it in bed? Do you think Tuesday or Wednesday would be the best day to designate for “Daylight Spending Time?”

When will you have time?

No Time! No Time! A woman I worked with once passed me by in the office hallway and when I started to say “Good Morning”, she held up the palm of her hand facing me and loudly proclaimed: “No Time”, then continued to walk on by me. I thought she was very rude. I could not believe that anyone could have such manners or be in such a hurry that they simply could not reply to a “Good Morning.” The phrase “No Time” has become a sort of mantra for modern life. We have all heard the excuse used for lack of exercise, poor diets, failure to take better care of our health, our friends, our spouse and even our children. Who is not busy today or who would admit to not being busy? It is a status symbol to be so busy that we do not have time for anything. Are we so busy making a living that we have no time for making a life?

I thought about the above incident quite a few times in the past years. Recently, I had some second thoughts about her behavior. Instead of judging her; I have thought about the stress in her life and wondered if I do not often treat people the same way, albeit with different tactics. I might not loudly proclaim “No Time”, but I do it in more subtle ways. I don’t listen to what people are saying; I brush off other’s problems with no response; I do not take the time to spend with my friends or loved ones; I retreat to the TV or a book when I don’t want to spend time with people and I can find myriad excuses to avoid people when I want to. In my own way, I am keeping my time and not sharing it with others. I am just not as direct as my fellow co-worker was.

How often do you say “no time” to friends, kids, relatives and even your spouse? Do you have “No Time” today but you think you will have it tomorrow? How often are you “out of time” for your loved ones or the things you really enjoy doing? When will you have time? Tomorrow may be too late.

What does March mean to you?

March- the third month of the calendar. When you think of March do you think of the Ides of March, the March Hare or the “March” of time? In Minnesota, March is a time of iffy weather. March is often the last gasp of winter and it can be the snowiest month of the year or it may bring warm weather and an early spring. There have been a few years of late (most likely due to global warming) where I have even had my motorcycle out for an early run in March.

March 21st is (at least officially) the first day of spring. However, few in Minnesota expect to see flowers blooming yet. We will be getting the old ice houses off the lakes and putting away the snowmobiles. March was originally the first month of the Roman calendar because the winter months of January and February were unsuited for warfare. Military campaigns could begin as soon as the weather was suitable for “marching.” Today when March rolls around, we start thinking that summer cannot be far away. For many of us, particularly those who like to do things late, tax preparations will need to be finished before the April 15th deadline.

Many other Minnesotans will be returning from their winter sojourns to Florida, Arizona and Texas. These “fair weather” Minnesotans are called “snow-birds.” Snow-birds fly south about January or December each year and return when they sense the last days of winter are over. Minnesota probably has more snow-birds than any other state in the US. Not a bad way of living if you are rich or retired or have a portable job. For the rest of us, we must endure and hope that March is really the harbinger of warmer weather. Still, none but the foolish will put their snow throwers in storage yet.

What does March mean to you? What holidays, festivals or traditions stand out most for you in March? What do you do in March that makes it unique for you? Is March the beginning of your spring or the beginning of your fall? If you live in the southern hemisphere, no doubt you will have a different set of associations and expectations for fall.

What can we really control?

“Synchronicity is a word coined by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung to describe the temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." (Wikipedia). In common language, this means that two things seem to both happen together that are unrelated. Often, we have the distinct feeling that while they may seem unrelated on the surface, there is more than coincidence at play. Some people might say they were preordained and some might say it was predestination but none would simply call these events simply random or luck.

When things happen that seem to be beyond possibility and beyond all coincidences we wonder if other forces are at work. Statisticians might scoff at this idea (are we positing divine intervention or a psychic phenomena?) but most of us have had something happen that we cannot just write off to chance. The day when you have just been notified that you lost your job and the phone rings with an offer of a new job. Or the day when you were just ending one relationship and someone new comes into your life. Or the day when you were down to your lost dollar and suddenly you find that you overpaid on your electric bill and are due for a rebate. Many people believe that these are not random events and that there is a definite “synchronicity” to the world/

What if things in the world were more predestined then we would like to believe? Some people believe our deaths are written in a book somewhere and that no matter what we do or how we live, we will meet our maker on a fixed day. An interesting story is called “Appointment in Samarra” that deals with this subject. In the story, a man’s effort to escape his fate is futile. What if your efforts to escape fate were futile? Suppose many events and occurrences were preordained or fixed in a cosmic clock, how would that affect your life? What if you did not have as much control as you thought you had?

What events in your life do you think you have less control over? Does synchronicity play a role in your life that you have not acknowledged? Is life a balance between those things you can control and those you can’t? Have you found the right balance in your life?

Are you stuck in the past?

According to one theory of time, events mark time. Without events, there is no time. We measure time by births, deaths, disasters, significant milestones etc. But is this all that time really is, the passing of events? Sometimes it seems this way as we count the weeks by each day passing and the months by each week passing and the years by each month passing. The seasons pass and soon our brief lives are over. The historians tell us what has been significant and what is worth remembering.

However, do we really only measure time by the passage of events? What if we stopped chronicling our bios, happenings and daily events? What if we could simply forget them as soon as they passed? Have you ever dwelled on some event long after it was over? Or, kept repeating some problem or issue in your mind? Some people can do this all their lives. We might tell them to “get over it” and move on but they are stuck in the event. They are still living in high school or college or with their first love. These individuals seem to be unaffected by the passage of events. They have found the one significant event for them and they want to stay with it forever. We all know somebody who fits this description. They cannot seem to move on with their lives. The big event might have been a tragedy, a touchdown pass or a fantastic vacation, but they will relive this over and over again. To some degree, we all do this. There are key people and events in our lives that we will never forget. However, we all must move on at least some of the time to continue growing and developing. To stay in the past is to relinquish the opportunity for new pleasures and new adventures. The past is safe though and the future is uncertain. That is what keeps many people stuck. Who wants to take the risk associated with moving forward and embracing the unknown?

How do you deal with the flow of life? Are you sometimes stuck in the past? Where are you stuck? What do you need to do to move on with your life? What events or issues can or should you forget and just let go of? What is holding you back? Are you afraid of the future?

Who would win today, the hare or the tortoise?

A hare and tortoise ran a race and we all know who won! This Aesop fable is probably familiar to most of the human race. The moral is that slow and steady wins over speed. Of course, this story grew out of a time when things were much slower than they are today. Would the turtle still win today? I am not so sure. What if the answer was no? What if speed were so important today that it did not matter how steady you were? Indeed, there are many areas of our lives where speed today is essential. Target Stores advertise their culture as “Fast, Fun and Friendly.” Notice that fast is the first “virtue” of working at Target that you must embrace. When was the last time your boss told you to take things slower? Times change and today speed has become increasingly important. Drive too slow on the freeway and you can get a ticket. The poor turtle today would probably get run over.

Nevertheless, the Aesop story still has a great deal of merit. Several studies have shown that we are really less intelligent when we attempt to multi-task. When we try to do too many things at the same time, we really do few of them well. Look at the most successful people in the world and you will find that they bring a great deal of focus to what they are doing. Success requires vision but it also requires focus. It is hard to find focus when you are trying to do three or four things at the same time. It is almost always an issue of finding the right balance in our lives. When do we need to multi-task and when do we need to really focus and do only one thing at a time? The Greeks understood the important of balance as it was written on the Temple of Delphi “All things in moderation.”

Can you really drive well and talk on the cell-phone? Are you always in a multi-task mode? When do you allow your life to go slower? Are you the proverbial hare that always loses the race? Where do you need to go faster today? Where do you need to go slower?

Do you hate Mondays?

Monday seems to be the day of the week that people hate the most. It is the beginning of the work week for many of us. We mostly think about the difficulties and problems that lie before us. Few people wake up on Monday morning feeling like they do on a weekend or vacation day. I try to make my Mondays different. I start out each Monday with the following reflection: “I give thanks for this new day and a new start. I give thanks for my health and for my friends and for my family and for my wife.” Monday is special for me because it is a new opportunity. It is a chance for a fresh start. It is my “Groundhog Day.”

Regardless of what went wrong last week or the mistakes I made, my reflection reminds me that this is a new week and a chance to start over. I could easily succumb to the negative thoughts about Monday but my reflection reminds me what I wonderful day it really is. It reminds me of my blessings and that today is a new start. Why start off the week with a down feeling? Life is a series of opportunities that are presented to us each day. The time I have on Monday is no different than the time I have on Saturday or Sunday. I choose my life by the choices I make with the time I have. So do you. There are no Mondays or Saturdays; these are only labels that we put on nature and the great cycle of life. These labels are simply conveniences and instead we turn them into traps. We have Mondays, Hump-days, TGIF days, work-days and holidays. Each of these days is what you make out of them. Each one is a potential to live a new life and to have a new beginning.

Do you see Mondays as a day to dislike or can you see Mondays as a springboard to a new beginning and a new life? Which way would you rather see Monday? What would make your life a new beginning this Monday? It is your choice!

How patient are you?

Patience is a virtue. A virtue is a character trait valued as being good. Saying that patience is a virtue also implies that patience is a good value. Indeed, many of us would like to have more patience in our lives. Patience allows time to flow without undue anxiety or anger. Patience alleviates stress in our lives. Patience cures road rage. A great deal of violence could be cured by a greater amount of patience in the world. All of the great prophets and leaders have shown inordinate amounts of patience. This is not to say that leadership always invokes patience. Sometimes leaders and prophets have demonstrated that even patience has limits.

So how do we get more patience? How can we become a more patient person? At my annual retreat, the Retreat Master spoke of those who pray for patience and complain that their prayers are not answered. He said “Praying for patience is like me praying to have muscles like Arnold Swartzenegger and then expecting God to just give them to me. I am here to tell you that you will have to do more than just pray. You will have to exercise to get muscles and you will have to exercise to get patience.” Furthermore, he went on, we are all given many opportunities each day to practice and exercise our patience. Think of the number of times each day you are upset or short with people whom you do not have time for. Think of the number of times you are in a hurry. Each of these is an opportunity to practice patience. Only by continuing to practice will you gain more patience.

The next time you are at a light and someone fails to move, take a minute to observe and practice patience. The next time you are at a long line in a grocery story, think about practicing patience with the coupon holder in front of you. The next time someone cuts you off on the road, practice patience. See how many times today you can practice patience. How many opportunities did you have? How many times did you succeed? Keep practicing. Practice makes perfect.

Where does great timing come from?

Timing is everything. How often have you heard this comment? It implies that success goes to the person with the right timing. If you watch a good athlete, you can see the importance of timing over factors such as strength or power. A good golf swing is an example of this. Some sports are power sports and require less skill than sheer strength. Skill sports like golf, tennis, fencing and karate may require or put more emphasis on timing than other sports. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine any sport where timing is not important. Great comedians must have perfect timing or they will find their jokes going right over the audiences head. Photographers talk about the importance of timing in getting those great pictures. Business is full of opportunities that are time sensitive. Today, you may have an opportunity to make a fortune and tomorrow it is gone. Good business opportunities will always be seized by someone else, whose timing is better.

So, how do we get our timing to be better or is it all just luck? Can we improve our timing? The answer is yes, but it takes practice and patience. Great timing comes from practice and repeated failures. It takes time to get great timing. People are not born with great timing, it is something we develop. The person you envy because of their great timing is someone who is practicing their skill or activity on a regular basis. When you see someone in good shape at 80 years of age, do you think they were born that way? I will bet my last dollar, they worked at staying in shape by watching their diet and by making sure they got plenty of exercise. They put lots of time into it and they did not just get lucky. Too often we ascribe success to luck. Luck is factors beyond our control. Happily, success is within our control and has less to do with luck than it does with practice and hard work. Good timing is a result of both practice and hard work.

Where do you need better timing in your life? In what areas, do you feel that your timing has been weak or off the mark? What skills or activities do you want to be better in? Can you make a schedule to practice these skills? Do you have the patience? Can you find the time to improve your timing?

How long did it really take to build Rome?

Rome wasn’t built in a day. How often have you been given that little bit of wisdom? You probably think you know what it means. It seems self-evident. Several years ago, Karen and I went to Rome and while we were there, we advised ourselves to “just do like the Romans do.” One day over dinner, Karen said to me “Well, just what do or did the Romans do?” I honestly could not say. I only know they do not drive like we do. In addition, while I thought I knew what it meant when we say “Rome was not built in a day”, I also could not tell you how long it took to build Rome. In fact, if it were like any other city, they were probably still building it when it “fell.” Many works are never finished; they are simply “works in process.” Thus, Rome was probably not ever really built since it was never finished. Cities and countries are always works in progress.

The same holds true for people. We are not built in a day or even a lifetime. We are never finished as people until we die and even then we will not be finished. I think of the growth I want in my life and I realize that after having worked on patience for at least the last three years, it will certainly not be obtained in a day or probably even in my lifetime. Many of my friends also doubt it will be obtained in my lifetime. More likely, if I keep trying hard and working at it, I may find myself getting more and more patient, but never reaching the apex I would like to achieve. The best I may be able to do is to be more patient than I was yesterday and the day before that. My creating a patient persona is a work in progress. I will definitely not become patient in a day and maybe not even in a lifetime.

The real goal is not to finish but to make progress with your life. When we work a little each day on something, we eventually create our own individual Rome. Do you get bored easily or give up easily on things? Are you working on long-term goals and sometimes getting frustrated over your rate of change? What could you use as a more realistic measure of change to gage your progress? Who could help you to stay on track? Can you find a mentor or coach or friend who will provide you with encouragement? It is difficult to build Rome by yourself.

Do you have THE time?

Do you have THE time? This question once distinguished those who had a watch and those who did not. Today, I can just as easily answer this question with my watch, cell phone, GPS, PDA or WIFI computer. I simply need to observe the time and state it in either Greenwich Mean Time or 24 hour military style. I could be somewhat facetious and say “Well, it depends on what time you want?” When we ask for the time, we are usually only requesting chronological time. We assume that the person making the request only wants to know what time of day it is.

What if they wanted to know the time they had left to live? What if they were looking for the time that the world had left to survive? What if they wanted to know how long you were really going to stay with them? In marriage vows, we say “until death do us part.” None of us know how long that will be or whether it will really last that long. Yet we make that commitment to stay with the other person as long as we live. In reality, it means as long as we still feel like we love them. We make commitments of time that are impossible to live up to since we do not really know the time. We cannot say how long the world will survive or how long we will survive. We cannot even really say how long we will live with anyone. The most we can say about time is what time we think it is right now.

The next time someone asks you if you “have the time,” try replying with “Well, yes I have it and if I give it to you, what will you do with it?” Alternatively, “Do you really need it?” Or, “When will I get it back?” The point here is to not take words for granted and to try to see what else they could mean. As Alice in Wonderland was told, “Do not presume to know what words mean.” Do you assume too much when others speak? Do you try to check out the meaning of words and feelings? Do you think that you know the meaning of the words without validating your assumptions? What if you checked out the meaning of words more? Do you think it would improve your communication skills?

Who do you have time for?

Do you have time? How often are you asked that question? Have you ever really thought about what it means? Of course, you say “I know what it means.” However, do you really? When people ask you if you have time, are you being asked for space, for a priority, for help, for support, for money or something else? What is it that they want your time for? In some respects, it is a silly question, since of course you have time. The real question is do you have time for them. Even more to the point, is the issue of whether your priorities and expectations match up with their priorities and expectations? Do you have time to walk their dog? Do you have time to help them with their report? Do you have time to watch their children?

We are asked this question many times a week. What goes into your decision to “make” time for others? Do you make time for people you really like or for people who you think have influence over you? Whether or not we have time will often depend on how important something is to us or how important we view our relationship with the person asking for our time. We are all very busy people, but we will take the time to help those we really care about or if the issue is something we are very interested in. The answer “no, I don’t have the time” more likely means that it is not important or interesting to me. The time I am willing to give to others can have a very ego-centric aspect to it. I give time not because I have it but because I want to. Of course, at work, if my boss asks me, I will probably have time since I want to keep my job.

Who do you really make time for? Are you selfish or generous with your time? Do you have time for those with power over you or for those whom you love? Are you giving your time to the right people?

Can we undo the past?

Time has often been the theme or plot of many stories. Days repeating themselves, people living life over again, people being born in the future etc. Time travel has been a very popular theme. Several movies have been made involving the concept of traveling back or forward in time. Often the plot involves the futility of trying to change the future or the negative effects from trying to change the past. This creates what could be called the “time paradox.” If you could go back and change things, then why would you need to go back in the first place? Another dilemma time travel poses is how anyone could be alive at two places at the same time. Inevitably, the person going back discovers the futility of trying to change time. In Déjà vu, Denzel Washington was able to surmount the time paradox and successfully changed the future. Of course, it is not explained how he managed to exist at two places at the same time, but the movie is very entertaining.

Some movies have dealt with the theme of “stuck in time” as in the movie “Ground Hog Day.” In this movie, the main character Phil (played by Bill Murray) is a weatherman assigned to cover Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania, where every year a big to-do is made about whether or not the ground hog comes out and sees its shadow. The outcome of this ritual is said to determine how much longer winter will go on. Bill is a disillusioned self-centered individual with a very cynical outlook on life. By some stroke of fate, he finds that he keeps waking up and reliving Groundhog Day over and over again. We surmise that he must keep repeating the day until he is able to get it right. He must develop a likable and lovable personality. The proof that he has changed lies in his ability to win the heart of a local woman played by Andie MacDowell. The character Phil is not only given a second and third but even gets a fourth and fifth chance to live his life over again and to get it right.

Now you might think that Phil was lucky and you never get such luck but you would be wrong. Each day we get up, we have another chance to get it right. Each day is an opportunity for a new beginning and a new start. You have to make a choice. Will you keep doing the same things or will you change your life. How often have you wished you could change the past or keep repeating it until you got it right? What is one thing you would like to go back into the past to change? What if you could change it? How would your life be different today? The choice is yours to make.

Are you planning for today or the future?

“The problems of today versus the problems of tomorrow” is a choice we face each day. Whether to deal with the reality of life staring at us this morning or to deal with those issues that will be more important in the future? That is the real question. It is very difficult to put off fire fighting or problem fixing (short term) in order to do problem resolution or problem prevention (long-term). Dr. W. E. Deming, one of the great business leaders and thinkers of the Twentieth Century often used this phrase about the “problems of today versus the problems of tomorrow.” He counseled business leaders to run their organizations by balancing the problems that confront them on a daily business with the long term strategic issues that the organization needed to address for survival. One of his favorite comments was “putting out a fire in the hotel, does not improve the hotel.” When you think about it, as necessary as it might be, putting out fires rarely improves ones long-term position in the world.

This bit of Deming wisdom is something I try to use to manage and improve my own life. Merely focusing on today’s problems does not prepare me for the future or any real growth. It is easy to live day by day and not plan, not save and not grow for the future. How many people do you know that will not be able to afford to retire? How many people do not put money aside for their children’s education? How many people have finished their college education and never gone back to school for any further growth and development? How many people have a diet or exercise plan that they really follow?

If you are only living for today, what will your life be like tomorrow? There was a story I often told about the man/woman saving the drowning people who were coming down the river and had fallen in. He stopped pulling people out and someone said: “You can’t quit now there are still people coming down.” He replied: I am not quitting, I am just going up river to find out what is causing so many people to fall in.” There comes a time when you must stop putting band-aids on life or when you must get to the root of the problem. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You will always have to deal with short term crisis. But if your life has no room for the future, you will just keep on having these crises. This goes for money, relationships, marriage or children. The best relationships all take time to build for the future. The issue is not how to do one or the other, the issue is how to do all.

What do you need to plan for the future? What problems in your life need to be solved immediately? How can you balance your problems of today with your problems of the future? What future problems are you ignoring or not planning for? Why? Who could help you with these problems?