Are you a father to time or a father of time?

Father Time - the personification of time is usually a bearded man of advanced years, wearing a robe and sometimes carrying a scythe or an hourglass. Some say he is derived from the Greek God Saturn or Chronos. I would like to know why he is Father Time and not Mother Time. Why does he not have a female companion on his journeys? Have you ever noticed that many of the Greek virtues are feminine? However, time is always thought of as masculine. While we speak of Mother Earth, we are led by Father Time. Time is the progenitor of life. Without time nothing happens. Eggs would not develop; life would not spring forth to grow. Thus Father Time becomes a key parent to all life. Just as Mother Earth nurtures life, Father Time gives time to life and provides the key elements for life to grow. Life can be seen as requiring both the masculine and feminine elements. The female elements are embodied in nurturance and support. The masculine elements are action oriented driven by time and tasks.

What are the implications of this view of time as masculine? Who is Father Time a father to? What parental guidance or parental role does he play in our daily lives? One might ask what role you as a parent play with your children in respect to time. Do you get them up in the morning to go to school? Do you let them sleep in on the weekends? Do you teach them to be responsible for tasks being done on time? Do you make sure they share their time with others? Do you teach them that time is valuable and not to be wasted? Will they grow up knowing the value of time?What are the parental responsibilities that you transmit to your children in respect to time? What do your expectations teach your children about time? What should you be teaching your children about time?

Do you take time to water and weed your relationships?

“Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.” This was a poem that my first wife found when we were just married. I loved the poem and in some sense it embodied what I felt married life should be about. There were many times during our marriage when I thought about this poem. We ended in divorce after 16 years. I was never sure why the marriage ended. We fought, loved, laughed and suffered through ups and downs with money but none of these things ended the marriage. I once added up all my theories on why the marriage ended and I came up with 32 theories. Many years later, I came up with a new theory and decided that all the old theories are bunk. For years we saw each other and I considered my former wife a friend. However, we have since drifted apart and for perhaps the same unfathomable reasons that the marriage failed, the friendship has since faded away.

I am left with the poem and while I still think about it a great deal, it now is more related to my second marriage and the hopes and dreams I have for it. What a wonderful thought that we can share life together with another person and expect that the best of life is still to come. I am facing old age and looking towards the last 20 years of my life. Yet, I can more easily believe the words of this poem today then when I was young. I now realize that relationships are not made in heaven, they are made on earth. Relationships are like flowers and gardens. They must be nurtured and pampered and tended daily with loving care. There will be weeds and dry days and floods and tornados. Rabbits and other critters will intrude on your garden and eat your flowers. A garden is not fixed in stone. Each year requires renewed effort to bring out the best in it. Our relationships are a lot like gardens. If you continue working on your relationships, they will only get better and better. If you think that your garden will take care of itself and never need replanting or watering, you will soon find that your garden is nothing but weeds and stones.

Do you have faith that your relationships with your friends and loved ones can be better or do you just take them for granted? Do you believe that your life will get better and better if you keep improving it each day? Do you think your life might also be like a garden? What could you do to improve your relationships or your life today? What challenges could you take today to make your life more interesting or more fun? What parts of your relationships with your loved ones need watering or replanting? What weeds do you need to remove in your relationships?

What better way to spend Friday than eating Fish?

Every Friday I look forward to a Friday night fish fry. Ever since I was a little kid, Friday night meant fish. Of course, this was because I grew up in an Italian Catholic family and we could not eat meat on Friday. One might think I would grow up to hate fish but instead I have become so fond of fish that I eat all kinds of fish, cephalapods, crusteaceans, mollusks and other assorted phylum that swim and paddle in the lakes, oceans and waters covering the earth. I have never met a fish I did not like. Too fishy, has no place in my vocabulary. It is like saying beef is too steaky or ham is too porky.

It seems when we grow up, we either radically reject the traditions of our childhood or we embrace them with a passion that is beyond rational thought. Many people are surprised at my passion for fish. However, I have found other "passions" both embraced and rejected that I attribute to my growing up. Sometimes, when we do not recognize the history or etiology of our passions, they can rule and perhaps ruin our pleasure in life. Such as when we say "I always do it this way." We can follow well established paths that can become ruts that blind us to new opportunities and new pleasures in life. Many times we can be chained by traditions but traditions are generally more visible and hence we are aware of them. Being aware gives us more opportunity to change our traditions if we so desire. However, subtle passions that grew from childhood are more deeply engrained and more difficult to change.

How often have you recognized a "Rule" or "Habit" that you follow because that was what you learned when you were growing up. "Haste makes waste." "A stitch in time saves nine." "The early bird catches the worm." Many of these kinds of advice are helpful if not carried to extremes. The problem is they can become habits in our lives that become counterproductive because we take them to extremes. Thus we follow patterns of behavior that are rigid and inflexible. We become the character of our past rather the a character that is in process and shaped by the present.

Today, take a minute to reflect on the habits, manners and beliefs that guide your life. Which of these are helpful. Which are keeping you from moving forward in your life? How many of these spring from the rules and obligations of your childhood? Which of these will you change?

Brother, can you spare an hour?

I only wish I had the time to help. The other morning I was in a coffee shop in Arizona City. This is a local hangout place for philosophers, world affairs experts and low-cost Starbuck's wannabees. The group will range from right-wing to left-wing depending on the time of the morning. The Curve's group come in at about 9:30 so the MEN try to be out there by then. No sense discussing politics, sports and world solutions with a bunch of women. This morning my time was bordering between mens time and womens time. Thus, there was a blending of both sexes. One of the world experts and philosophers noted a guy outside who was working his way down the medium strip picking what appeared to be "weeds." "Whats that guy doing?" "Who is he." "Does he think he can get all the weeds in town." "Must be nice to have nothing to do." I mean look at us in the coffee shop, we are solving the world's political problems and selecting the best coachs and players for all the NFL, NBA and other professional sports leaques. Why doesn't he join us and do something useful?

Well after much debate, one of the women in the shop went out to ask him what he was doing. She talked to him about five minutes and returned. All weighty and important world discussions ceased as we anxiously awaited this strange man's mission and goals in life. I must admit, I was thinking he was doing some kind of good deed that only the retired or indigent have time to do. I was surprised to find that he was gainfully employed, but he donated one hour a week of his time to help make the community a nicer place to live. I had expected that he would be some "do gooder retiree" with too much time on his hands. My rationale for not doing something like this has always been "I don't have the time." I was embarrassed to think that someone, anyone of us, could simply go out and pick weeds one hour per week. Do I have one hour per week to pick weeds? I am spending an hour at least three times per week solving the world's problems with my fellow philosophers. The answer is clearly yes. Funny, I never thought about it. I assumed you either worked and did paid activity or you were retired and did "free" stuff for the world and society. Given that I had no immediate plans to retire, the free stuff did not seem like to much of an option.

Now please don't get me wrong. I do 12 to 16 hours of work per week pro bono for a business development group locally. I work with small start up companies to help them develop their business plan and marketing strategies. I do not get paid for this and I think it is worthwhile, but it is or seems very different from simply going down the street to pick weeks. One seems professional and important, the other seems mundane. Yet, many of us would rather have more beauty in our lives and perhaps less business.

What if you and I simply gave one hour per week of community service? What if more of us were visible in our community instead of living on our decks or behind our stone walls and increasingly gated communities? This strange man picking weeds has inspired me to go beyond my limits. I now see a big gray area beyond work and retirement. Only it really is not gray, it is quite blue and green.

What will they say about you when you die?

Have you ever written your eulogy? A eulogy is a formal memorial speech delivered when someone dies and usually at their funeral. We have all been to a funeral where we were very moved by the oration that a friend, family member or pastor gave. Most of the time, these were written after the person died. Sometimes they hit the mark and really describe the person and other times not as well. What someone would say about us might not be what we would want to say ourselves. Unfortunately, there is no coming back after the fact to write our own eulogy. Fortunately, you can write one now.

Why would anyone want to write their own eulogy you might ask? Not because you will be better able to tell the truth about yourself; though this would be a pleasant change from the usual glowing eulogies. The answer is because it can help you to see what is most important in your life. It will help you to address the question of whether you are really working towards what is important. When you are dead and buried will you be remembered for what you were trying to accomplish in life? Perhaps not! But perhaps thinking about what you would like to be remembered for now can help focus you on your goal and the real purpose of your life.

This is a common exercise in many human relations classes. It is very simple. Just imagine that you are at your own funeral. The speaker is up on the podium getting ready to talk about you to the assemblage of friends and families. What would you like that person to say about you? What activities, events, goals and aspirations do you want to be remembered for? Write them all down. You have now written your own eulogy.

Now for the hard part! Looking over your eulogy, how does it sound? Is it realistic? Do you think someone would really say that about you now? Why or why not? What would you have to change in your life to make your eulogy real? How much time do you have to change your life around? It is never to late too start!

How does process time affect your life?

Process time is a common term in business. When I first started doing TQM (Total Quality Management) consulting, it became very important to start thinking of everything in business as a process. The key to process consulting was to believe that all processes could be improved if they were first understood. Using TQM methods, we could understand our organizational processes and continuously improve them thereby lowering costs, improving productivity and increasing customer satisfaction. The “atom” of business was the “process” and to understand the business, you had to understand the core processes. The business DNA lay in the unraveling of the process steps and metrics.

I soon came to realize that these same concepts could be used to improve my personal and family life. I began to see that everything we do in life is a process and that by better understanding the key processes that affect my life, I could also continuously improve my family and personal life. There are communication processes, argument resolution processes, financial processes, vacation time processes, family together time processes, personal growth processes, child rearing processes, retirement processes and many others. The more I understand them and how they can be continually improved, the better my life is. Indeed, by applying the same principles to may life that make a business successful, I have learned to improve my personal life. Whatever affects my personal life affects my business life and vice- versa.

The task of “process understanding” is not an easy one. In fact, it is never ending. There is always more to be understood when studying a process. The major value is that you never have to be perfect. The more you understand the better things will become. We spend all of our lives engaged in process time activities. It only makes sense to look at what we are doing and try to find a better way to do it. What key processes affect your life? Which of these are you improving and which of these are you ignoring? Why are you ignoring them? What processes could you do more work on to improve? How could you start? Would it make a difference in your life? Then why not start now? Who could help you get started?

Are you managing your downtime or uptime?

Downtime! How that one word strikes joy in our hearts. Historically, it is derived from a machine or system that is no longer up and running. Today, it means that your computer system at work has crashed and you cannot get anything done. When IT systems crash today, we are all in a quandary with what to do during downtime. Nevertheless, there is real joy during periods of enforced downtime.

The opposite of downtime is uptime. When was the last time you heard anybody excited about uptime? As in, “boy, I hope we can have more uptime today!” Not very likely! Uptime is taken for granted since uptime is when things are running normal and we are expected to be creative, productive and industrious. We cannot goof off during uptime since the machines and computers are running and all systems are set on go. Thus, we go, go, go. We become like machines ourselves except we cannot turn off between 9-5 unless we have lunch or a scheduled break. Downtime gives us a brief but unexpected break from our daily tedium.

We may all need more downtime in our lives. However, downtime is not promoted as a value or as something to aspire to. Have you ever heard of anyone negotiating downtime in their contract? Have you ever heard of a Union arguing for more downtime? Downtime is regarded as the enemy of productivity. Vacations, holidays, time off, sick days are all a form of “planned downtime.” However, many of us are too busy to take “planned downtime.” Some of us run and run until stress or illness forces downtime. The body takes over and says “enough is enough.” We all know people who never take breaks or who seem to always be on the go. Then the day comes when their system crashes and illness or stress puts them in bed or the hospital. Many of us do not take good care of ourselves to prevent stress and thus avoid “system downtime.”

Do you ever plan your own downtime or do you wait until either you or your computer crashes? What stops you from taking a needed rest or unenforced period of downtime? Are you really so essential to the job or activity that you cannot take a break? Can the world live without you for a day or so? Stress is a major cause of illness and most of us have too much in our lives. Perhaps if you plan your own downtime today you can look forward to your uptime tomorrow.

Are you a digital person or an analog person?

Digital versus Analog time. Have you ever thought that the world could be divided into two kinds of information? Analog is where the information is a continuous flow. Examples are the old time 33 1/3 LP records. Now we have digital music which is numerically encoded. The old time watches with a sweep hand are another example of analog time while today they are more of a fashion item and many of us wear digital watches. Even these are being replaced by those who use cell phones for their time needs. Movies are now becoming digitized where they have been primarily analog. Of course, computers are the essence of digitization.

Digitization is remaking our world. Once analog signals ruled the information world, today we are living in a digital world where information flow is ruled by numbers. Does it make any difference? Some people argue that the old type of records had better fidelity than the new digital records. Many researchers find that qualitative information (interviews, focus groups) is more useful than the quantitative information found in surveys, Gallup Polls and other rating systems. There are pro’s and con’s to each system but there is little doubt that digital signals are replacing analog signals in our emerging global interconnected marketplace.

In terms of personal time, are you a digital or an analog person? Do you see the world broken into discrete increments of time, like bytes and bits? Or, do you see the world as a continuous stream of activities and events? If you are a digital time person, how do you think your view would be changed today if you thought like an analog person? Vice versa, if you are an analog person, how do you think the world would look today to you if you thought like a digital person? Can you switch perspectives or do you find it impossible to think in such a contrary manner? How do you think your children see the world? Do they see it as a continuous flow or as a series of discrete events? Can you see any difference it makes it how we view the world?

What if being late was not the problem?

Late-Late-Late! We all know people who are late for everything. Late to events, late to work, and some would joke, even late to their own funerals. It is easy to find excuses for being late and we could each name a dozen “excuses.” People who are chronically late would call these reasons and not excuses. To those of us who make a point or habit of being on time, it is very difficult to tolerate the lateness of others. We see it as inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless. We see it as preventable with some advance planning and foresight. Nevertheless, we don’t seem to be decreasing incidents of lateness in the world or changing those who are chronically late.

Maybe, those of us who are chronically on time are the real problem. Was the world really meant to be run by a clock? Maybe the punctual have capitulated while the “latecomers” are the real rebels. Fighting against the dictates of the almighty clock and the culture of promptness ushered in by our advanced industrial and digital society. Perhaps, the “latecomers’ are living time in a more natural manner where life is based on cycles and not on a clock. The punctual person is driven by the time of day and the time designated by a tacit contract. The meeting will start at 8 AM. Be there or be late. The latecomer is driven by their own necessities and by an inner clock: “It is still dark out;”
“I am too tired to get up yet;” “So what if I come late, it’s not the end of the world;” “I have more important priorities;” or “I don’t feel like rushing.” The punctual person is horrified by these excuses: “What, I broke my neck to get here on time and the meeting was canceled.”

Life is not fair to the punctual person. But what do we tell our kids about the fairness of life? Do you suppose hell is a place where everyone must be on time or suffer severe punishments? Hard to imagine what could already be worse than hell. What happens to the late comers in hell then? What about the punctual? Are the places in heaven guaranteed only for the punctual? Can you be punctual and still go to hell?

How obsessed are you with being on time? Is there a place in your life for “time cycles” and not clock time? What if you are late? What difference will it make? Can you be late and not feel guilty? What does it mean to walk a line between obsessive punctuality and perpetual lateness? Does anyone really care if you are late or on time?

How does your perception of time affect your life?

Perceived time is what time feels like for us on a personal level. It has nothing to do with what the clock says. My “Perceived Flow of Time” changes depending on what I am going to do and when I do it. It is a mental state regarding the flow of time in our individual lives. Perceived time can be slow or fast depending on our circumstances and what we are doing. For example, I seem to need at least eight hours of sleep during the workweek, however on the weekends, I am up about two hours earlier than during the workweek and I am anxious and ready to go. I don’t need as much time to sleep and I feel full of energy on less sleep. This is a mental message being sent by my brain to my body. I perceive my world of time differently on the weekend than I do during the week. This perception enables me to do more with less. I know that it is due to my expectations but it is interesting to see the extra energy I have when the time is all mine and I do not have one commitment and appointment after another. Weekends can fly by while weeks pass much more slowly.

My flow of time during the week is also very different from event to event. Time seems to drag by during some tasks and fly by during others. When I have to go out and run during the cold Minnesota winter, the minutes and miles seem to take much more effort and time then during the late spring and early fall. When I am starting a new project and unsure about what to do, the time seems to flow by very slowly. Conversely, when I am really having fun with a task or really enjoying myself, time seems to pass in a flicker of thought.

Have you ever noticed how your perception of time changes depending on what you are doing and whom you are doing it with? Watch your time today. Don’t judge it or criticize it but just observe it. How does your flow of time seem to change for you? How is it different for you during the workweek and during the weekend? Does it change much? What do you think changes the flow of time for you? Are you satisfied with how time flows in your life? What would you like to change about it? What would you like to remain the same? Change your thoughts about time and you change the flow of time.

What if time were not linear? What would a day be like?

Linear time is the means by which most of us think of time. We count our time from when we are born to when we die. We measure history as a series of events beginning with the first in recorded history to the most recent. By definition, by usage, by convenience and by all the other ways we measure time; it would appear to flow in a straight line and in only one direction. The direction is from the past to the future.

However, what if time were not always linear? Have you ever noticed how “time flies” when you are having fun or enjoying yourself? When this happens, time no longer seems to be linear. It is experienced as more of a happening. A happening is something that seems almost without measure or without the ability to sense any “flow” of time. During a “happening” events and time merge and we do not notice time passing by. Depending on the event, it could pass by in a flash or it could seem like it was standing still. A moment can sometimes seem like an eternity and an eternity can sometimes seem like a moment. When you are having fun, you do not notice time passing nor can you measure your fun in terms of minutes and seconds. Imagine someone telling you to have fun for 30 minutes or so and then stop.

Some of us might wish we had more of these happenings when time was non-existent. How many of you would like to stop the clock or get off the train someplace where no one knew or cared what time it was. Do you ever get tired of tracking the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years of existence? What if there was no such thing as time? Sadly we would not have a recollection of some of the great moments in life. How often do you look back at past happenings and treasure them as timeless. We only wish they had never stopped or could be repeated again and again.

What if today could be a day without time for you? What if you did not have to think about time even once today? Could that possibly happen? Can you imagine a “timeless” day? If it was, what would your day be like? What would it take to help you to forget time today? What if you lived one second at a time and did not worry about the past or the future? Would your life be better or worse without time?

The fallacy of better, faster, cheaper.

Better-Faster-Cheaper, that’s the mantra for business and society in the 21st century. If we can’t do it, better, faster and cheaper, then some other company or country will. We are on a never ending treadmill where according to economists, we the consumer, benefit infinitely. We gain better and better products at lower and lower prices. Wal-Mart became the largest corporation in the world with its “Always the Lowest” strategy. We may complain about foreign goods and foreign workers and off-shoring jobs but it does not prevent us from buying the lowest priced goods we can find regardless of where they are made.

However, there are costs to this never ending gain which we have no way to calculate. There is more and more pressure to buy, buy, buy and spend, spend, spend. There is the gut level need to keep up with the Jones. There is the overwhelming obsession with having more and more stuff. Image takes precedence over substance. We live in a designer world with designer clothes, designer toys, designer dogs and designer people. We are all chasing an illusion of uniqueness through a maze of materialism. It is a game of smoke and mirrors and while we may think we are in a Fun House, it often is really a Mad House. We spend more than we can afford and more than we earn so we can present an image that reflects what the rest of the world thinks we should look like. We have t-shirts which read “shop till you drop” and “he who has the most toys win.” We lose our souls to gain a few more precious pieces of tomorrow’s obsolete flea market goods.

Do material goods, regardless of quality, make us happier? No one wants inferior products, or to return to a primeval lifestyle, but how much is enough? Can we say, there are never enough goods and services? What about time? What about the quality of the time you spend in your pursuit of happiness? How much money would you give for one more year to live if you were going to die tomorrow?

Are you calculating the cost of your time in your effort to be a designer person? What about the value of the time lost playing this game of trivial pursuit? Maybe you could find a mantra to live and work by that would focus more on happiness and less on things. What if we said that: “those who win have the most soul?” “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffers the loss of his own soul? (Mark and Matthew in the New Testament)

How much is time worth to you?

FedEx has become one of the largest corporations in the world by expediting the packages that we send and receive. The United States Postal Service (USPS) left a wide open gap in the market by being more hum drum about the time it takes to send and receive packages. Little did the Postal Service realize the increased priority that people were placing on time! This created an incredible opportunity that was fulfilled by both FedEx and United Parcel Service. In today’s market place, someone will always jump into an opportunity and fulfill it. Products and services can always be: better, faster and cheaper. Faster is one of the three prime factors that can confer a competitive advantage. Time is money and money is time.

How many opportunities do you think are still out there in respect to time? If you could think about it differently, do you think you might find a great opportunity? I believe there are hundreds if not millions of opportunities still waiting for the wise entrepreneur in the area of time. Time is the most important item that anyone has and yet while we measure the Gross National Product (GNP) in terms of products and services, there are no measures for “GNT” or Gross National Time. We measure Per Capital Income but there are no measures of PCT (Per Capita Time). PCT could tell us how well as a nation we are doing in respect to managing time. Time is one of our most valuable assets but we can continue to act like it is of less importance than capital or products.

How much per capital time do you have each week left over after all your “chores” and work is done? Are you a rich person or a poor person in regards to time? Do you have more time than you need or do you have less? How could you find more time in your life for the things you really want to do?

Who or what do you have time for?

No Time! No Time! A woman I worked with once passed me by in the office hallway and when I started to say “Good Morning”, she held up the palm of her hand facing me and loudly proclaimed: “No Time”, then continued to walk on by me. I thought she was very rude. I could not believe that anyone could have such manners or be in such a hurry that they simply could not reply to a “Good Morning.” The phrase “No Time” has become a sort of mantra for modern life. We have all heard the excuse used for lack of exercise, poor diets, failure to take better care of our health, our friends, our spouse and even our children. Who is not busy today or who would admit to not being busy? It is a status symbol to be so busy that we do not have time for anything. Are we so busy making a living that we have no time for making a life?

I thought about the above incident quite a few times in the past years. Recently, I had some second thoughts about her behavior. Instead of judging her; I have thought about the stress in her life and wondered if I do not often treat people the same way, albeit with different tactics. I might not loudly proclaim “No Time”, but I do it in more subtle ways. I don’t listen to what people are saying; I brush off other’s problems with no response; I do not take the time to spend with my friends or loved ones; I retreat to the TV or a book when I don’t want to spend time with people and I can find myriad excuses to avoid people when I want to. In my own way, I am keeping my time and not sharing it with others. I am just not as direct as my fellow co-worker was.

How often do you say “no time” to friends, kids, relatives and even your spouse? Do you have “No Time” today but you think you will have it tomorrow? How often are you “out of time” for your loved ones or the things you really enjoy doing? When will you have time? Tomorrow may be too late.

What does the month of March mean to you?

March- the third month of the calendar. When you think of March do you think of the Ides of March, the March Hare or the “March” of time? In Minnesota, March is a time of iffy weather. March is often the last gasp of winter and it can be the snowiest month of the year or it may bring warm weather and an early spring. There have been a few years of late (most likely due to global warming) where I have even had my motorcycle out for an early run in March.

March 21st is (at least officially) the first day of spring. However, few in Minnesota expect to see flowers blooming yet. We will be getting the old ice houses off the lakes and putting away the snowmobiles. March was originally the first month of the Roman calendar because the winter months of January and February were unsuited for warfare. Military campaigns could begin as soon as the weather was suitable for “marching.” Today when March rolls around, we start thinking that summer cannot be far away. For many of us, particularly those who like to do things late, tax preparations will need to be finished before the April 15th deadline.

Many other Minnesotans will be returning from their winter sojourns to Florida, Arizona and Texas. These “fair weather” Minnesotans are called “snow-birds.” Snow-birds fly south about January or December each year and return when they sense the last days of winter are over. Minnesota probably has more snow-birds than any other state in the US. Not a bad way of living if you are rich or retired or have a portable job. For the rest of us, we must endure and hope that March is really the harbinger of warmer weather. Still, none but the foolish will put their snow throwers in storage yet.

What does March mean to you? What holidays, festivals or traditions stand out most for you in March? What do you do in March that makes it unique for you? Is March the beginning of your spring or the beginning of your fall? If you live in the southern hemisphere, no doubt you will have a different set of associations and expectations for fall.

What role does fate play in your life?

“Synchronicity is a word coined by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung to describe the temporally coincident occurrences of a-causal events." (Wikipedia). In common language, this means that two things seem to both happen together that are unrelated. Often, we have the distinct feeling that while they may seem unrelated on the surface, there is more than coincidence at play. Some people might say they were preordained and some might say it was predestination but none would simply call these events simply random or lucky.

When things happen that seem to be beyond possibility and beyond all coincidences we wonder if other forces are at work. Statisticians might scoff at this idea (are we positing divine intervention or a psychic phenomena?) but most of us have had something happen that we cannot just write off to chance. The day when you have just been notified that you lost your job and the phone rings with an offer of a new job. Or the day when you were just ending one relationship and someone new comes into your life. Or the day when you were down to your lost dollar and suddenly you find that you overpaid on your electric bill and are due for a rebate. Many people believe that these are not random events and that there is a definite “synchronicity” to the world/

What if things in the world were more predestined then we would like to believe? Some people believe our deaths are written in a book somewhere and that no matter what we do or how we live, we will meet our maker on a fixed day. An interesting story is called “Appointment in Samara” that deals with this subject. In the story, a man’s effort to escape his fate is futile. What if your efforts to escape fate were futile? Suppose many events and occurrences were preordained or fixed in a cosmic clock, how would that affect your life? What if you did not have as much control as you thought you had?

What events in your life do you think you have less control over? Does synchronicity play a role in your life that you have not acknowledged? Is life a balance between those things you can control and those you can’t? Have you found the right balance in your life?

What events are most important to you?

According to one theory of time, events mark time. Without events, there is no time. We measure time by births, deaths, disasters, significant milestones etc. But is this all that time really is, the passing of events? Sometimes it seems this way as we count the weeks by each day passing and the months by each week passing and the years by each month passing. The seasons pass and soon our brief lives are over. The historians tell us what has been significant and what is worth remembering.

However, do we really only measure time by the passage of events? What if we stopped chronicling our bios, happenings and daily events? What if we could simply forget them as soon as they passed? Have you ever dwelled on some event long after it was over? Or, kept repeating some problem or issue in your mind? Some people can do this all their lives. We might tell them to “get over it” and move on but they are stuck in the event. They are still living in high school or college or with their first love. These individuals seem to be unaffected by the passage of events. They have found the one significant event for them and they want to stay with it forever. We all know somebody who fits this description. They cannot seem to move on with their lives. The big event might have been a tragedy, a touchdown pass or a fantastic vacation, but they will relive this over and over again. To some degree, we all do this. There are key people and events in our lives that we will never forget. However, we all must move on at least some of the time to continue growing and developing. To stay in the past is to relinquish the opportunity for new pleasures and new adventures. The past is safe though and the future is uncertain. That is what keeps many people stuck. Who wants to take the risk associated with moving forward and embracing the unknown?

How do you deal with the flow of life? Are you sometimes stuck in the past? Where are you stuck? What do you need to do to move on with your life? What events or issues can or should you forget and just let go of? What is holding you back? Are you afraid of the future?

Are you going to fast to do anything well?

A hare and tortoise ran a race and we all know who won! This Aesop fable is probably familiar to most of the human race. The moral is that slow and steady wins over speed. Of course, this story grew out of a time when things were much slower than they are today. Would the turtle still win today? I am not so sure. What if the answer was no? What if speed were so important today that it did not matter how steady you were? Indeed, there are many areas of our lives where speed today is essential. Target Stores advertise their culture as “Fast, Fun and Friendly.” Notice that fast is the first “virtue” of working at Target that you must embrace. When was the last time your boss told you to take things slower? Times change and today speed has become increasingly important. Drive too slow on the freeway and you can get a ticket. The poor turtle today would probably get run over.

Nevertheless, the Aesop story still has a great deal of merit. Several studies have shown that we are really less intelligent when we attempt to multi-task. When we try to do too many things at the same time, we really do few of them well. Look at the most successful people in the world and you will find that they bring a great deal of focus to what they are doing. Success requires vision but it also requires focus. It is hard to find focus when you are trying to do three or four things at the same time. It is almost always an issue of finding the right balance in our lives. When do we need to multi-task and when do we need to really focus and do only one thing at a time? The Greeks understood the important of balance as it was written on the Temple of Delphi “All things in moderation.”

Can you really drive well and talk on the cell-phone? Are you always in a multi-task mode? When do you allow your life to go slower? Are you the proverbial hare that always loses the race? Where do you need to go faster today? Where do you need to go slower?

What role does patience play in your life?

Patience is a virtue. A virtue is a character trait valued as being good. Saying that patience is a virtue also implies that patience is a good value. Indeed, many of us would like to have more patience in our lives. Patience allows time to flow without undue anxiety or anger. Patience alleviates stress in our lives. Patience cures road rage. A great deal of violence could be cured by a greater amount of patience in the world. All of the great prophets and leaders have shown inordinate amounts of patience. This is not to say that leadership always invokes patience. Sometimes leaders and prophets have demonstrated that even patience has limits.

So how do we get more patience? How can we become a more patient person? At my annual retreat, the Retreat Master spoke of those who pray for patience and complain that their prayers are not answered. He said “Praying for patience is like me praying to have muscles like Arnold Swartzenegger and then expecting God to just give them to me. I am here to tell you that you will have to do more than just pray. You will have to exercise to get muscles and you will have to exercise to get patience.” Furthermore, he went on, we are all given many opportunities each day to practice and exercise our patience. Think of the number of times each day you are upset or short with people whom you do not have time for. Think of the number of times you are in a hurry. Each of these is an opportunity to practice patience. Only by continuing to practice will you gain more patience.

The next time you are at a light and someone fails to move, take a minute to observe and practice patience. The next time you are at a long line in a grocery story, think about practicing patience with the coupon holder in front of you. The next time someone cuts you off on the road, practice patience. See how many times today you can practice patience. How many opportunities did you have? How many times did you succeed? Keep practicing. Practice makes perfect.

What does it take to develop great timing?

Timing is everything. How often have you heard this comment? It implies that success goes to the person with the right timing. If you watch a good athlete, you can see the importance of timing over factors such as strength or power. A good golf swing is an example of this. Some sports are power sports and require less skill than sheer strength. Skill sports like golf, tennis, fencing and karate may require or put more emphasis on timing than other sports. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine any sport where timing is not important. Great comedians must have perfect timing or they will find their jokes going right over the audiences head. Photographers talk about the importance of timing in getting those great pictures. Business is full of opportunities that are time sensitive. Today, you may have an opportunity to make a fortune and tomorrow it is gone. Good business opportunities will always be seized by someone else, whose timing is better.

So, how do we get our timing to be better or is it all just luck? Can we improve our timing? The answer is yes, but it takes practice and patience. Great timing comes from practice and repeated failures. It takes time to get great timing. People are not born with great timing, it is something we develop. The person you envy because of their great timing is someone who is practicing their skill or activity on a regular basis. When you see someone in good shape at 80 years of age, do you think they were born that way? I will bet my last dollar, they worked at staying in shape by watching their diet and by making sure they got plenty of exercise. They put lots of time into it and they did not just get lucky. Too often we ascribe success to luck. Luck is factors beyond our control. Happily, success is within our control and has less to do with luck than it does with practice and hard work. Good timing is a result of both practice and hard work.

Where do you need better timing in your life? In what areas, do you feel that your timing has been weak or off the mark? What skills or activities do you want to be better in? Can you make a schedule to practice these skills? Do you have the patience? Can you find the time to improve your timing?

What does it take to develop great timing?

Timing is everything. How often have you heard this comment? It implies that success goes to the person with the right timing. If you watch a good athlete, you can see the importance of timing over factors such as strength or power. A good golf swing is an example of this. Some sports are power sports and require less skill than sheer strength. Skill sports like golf, tennis, fencing and karate may require or put more emphasis on timing than other sports. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine any sport where timing is not important. Great comedians must have perfect timing or they will find their jokes going right over the audiences head. Photographers talk about the importance of timing in getting those great pictures. Business is full of opportunities that are time sensitive. Today, you may have an opportunity to make a fortune and tomorrow it is gone. Good business opportunities will always be seized by someone else, whose timing is better.

So, how do we get our timing to be better or is it all just luck? Can we improve our timing? The answer is yes, but it takes practice and patience. Great timing comes from practice and repeated failures. It takes time to get great timing. People are not born with great timing, it is something we develop. The person you envy because of their great timing is someone who is practicing their skill or activity on a regular basis. When you see someone in good shape at 80 years of age, do you think they were born that way? I will bet my last dollar, they worked at staying in shape by watching their diet and by making sure they got plenty of exercise. They put lots of time into it and they did not just get lucky. Too often we ascribe success to luck. Luck is factors beyond our control. Happily, success is within our control and has less to do with luck than it does with practice and hard work. Good timing is a result of both practice and hard work.

Where do you need better timing in your life? In what areas, do you feel that your timing has been weak or off the mark? What skills or activities do you want to be better in? Can you make a schedule to practice these skills? Do you have the patience? Can you find the time to improve your timing?

What does it take to develop great timing?

Timing is everything. How often have you heard this comment? It implies that success goes to the person with the right timing. If you watch a good athlete, you can see the importance of timing over factors such as strength or power. A good golf swing is an example of this. Some sports are power sports and require less skill than sheer strength. Skill sports like golf, tennis, fencing and karate may require or put more emphasis on timing than other sports. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine any sport where timing is not important. Great comedians must have perfect timing or they will find their jokes going right over the audiences head. Photographers talk about the importance of timing in getting those great pictures. Business is full of opportunities that are time sensitive. Today, you may have an opportunity to make a fortune and tomorrow it is gone. Good business opportunities will always be seized by someone else, whose timing is better.

So, how do we get our timing to be better or is it all just luck? Can we improve our timing? The answer is yes, but it takes practice and patience. Great timing comes from practice and repeated failures. It takes time to get great timing. People are not born with great timing, it is something we develop. The person you envy because of their great timing is someone who is practicing their skill or activity on a regular basis. When you see someone in good shape at 80 years of age, do you think they were born that way? I will bet my last dollar, they worked at staying in shape by watching their diet and by making sure they got plenty of exercise. They put lots of time into it and they did not just get lucky. Too often we ascribe success to luck. Luck is factors beyond our control. Happily, success is within our control and has less to do with luck than it does with practice and hard work. Good timing is a result of both practice and hard work.

Where do you need better timing in your life? In what areas, do you feel that your timing has been weak or off the mark? What skills or activities do you want to be better in? Can you make a schedule to practice these skills? Do you have the patience? Can you find the time to improve your timing?

What does it take to develop great timing?

Timing is everything. How often have you heard this comment? It implies that success goes to the person with the right timing. If you watch a good athlete, you can see the importance of timing over factors such as strength or power. A good golf swing is an example of this. Some sports are power sports and require less skill than sheer strength. Skill sports like golf, tennis, fencing and karate may require or put more emphasis on timing than other sports. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine any sport where timing is not important. Great comedians must have perfect timing or they will find their jokes going right over the audiences head. Photographers talk about the importance of timing in getting those great pictures. Business is full of opportunities that are time sensitive. Today, you may have an opportunity to make a fortune and tomorrow it is gone. Good business opportunities will always be seized by someone else, whose timing is better.

So, how do we get our timing to be better or is it all just luck? Can we improve our timing? The answer is yes, but it takes practice and patience. Great timing comes from practice and repeated failures. It takes time to get great timing. People are not born with great timing, it is something we develop. The person you envy because of their great timing is someone who is practicing their skill or activity on a regular basis. When you see someone in good shape at 80 years of age, do you think they were born that way? I will bet my last dollar, they worked at staying in shape by watching their diet and by making sure they got plenty of exercise. They put lots of time into it and they did not just get lucky. Too often we ascribe success to luck. Luck is factors beyond our control. Happily, success is within our control and has less to do with luck than it does with practice and hard work. Good timing is a result of both practice and hard work.

Where do you need better timing in your life? In what areas, do you feel that your timing has been weak or off the mark? What skills or activities do you want to be better in? Can you make a schedule to practice these skills? Do you have the patience? Can you find the time to improve your timing?