Saturday, June 5, 2010

How do you deal with sorrow?

Have you ever been told “It is a time of sorrow?” There are many times of sorrow for each of us in our lives. As much as we may try to escape these sorrowful times, they are inescapable. From birth to death, our lives are punctuated by times of sorrow. Fortunately, our sorrows are interspersed with happiness. Each of handle sorrow in different ways, but we all share the pain, grief and suffering that goes with it.

Most sorrow comes from loss, loss of people we love or care about. While we might have sorrow over things, it is never as deep or painful as sorrow over people or even pets that we loved. The loss of a loved one seems to leave a deep hole that never quite fills. We continue to think about them long after they have gone. Little things bring back the memories and times we shared. Sometimes, we think happily but wistfully about what might have been or what we should have done or said.

Sometimes the sorrow is deep and sometimes not so deep, but always it will be lingering. Remember the song, “I am a man of constant sorrow.” I think that song resonated with many of us because life sometimes seems overwhelmed by sorrows. As we grow older, we face more and more of these sorrows. We know that it is inevitable that our friends, pets, relatives and loved ones will pass away. We know that we too shall pass. However, it isn’t our coming death that is most sorrowful for us. In fact, of all the people whom we know will die in our lives; our own death will probably be the easiest. Our spouses or parents will most likely be the hardest. I joke with Karen that I want to go first, but we both know it is no joke. I am being selfish. I don’t want to deal with the sorrow. The number of spouses that die very shortly after their loved ones seems beyond mere coincidence. It is hard to continue life without someone who loves you or someone whom you have spent most of your life with. It may be easier to fact death than to face sorrow.

How do you deal with sorrow? What sorrows linger in your life? Do you honor or ignore your feelings of pain and grief? Do you accept the sorrow that some days bring or do you try to ignore and shut them it out?

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