Horny Time – Do you find it difficult to talk about sex? Most Americans seem to have a fixation with sex but a very difficult time to talk openly about it. According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of "The Female Brain," men think about sex every 52 seconds, while women tend to think about it just once a day. Apparently, men are thinking about sex a great deal more than women. I believe this "finding" reflects a stereotype about men and women in a traditional orientation to sex. In our world today, symbols and elements of sex are ubiquitous. We are bombarded with an average of 1500 advertisements a day and many of these rely on the old adage “sex sells.” Both men and women are getting “sexier” regardless of how often each supposedly thinks about it.
Recent studies show that the older men get, the “softer” they get. Forty four percent of American men over sixty report having a problem with getting an erection. Men might be thinking about sex but a great deal but with many it does not go much further than that. Why spend so much time thinking about something, when we can’t do anything about it? Of course, with the right drugs, we can all become overnight sex studs.
On one level, we treat sex as a normal part of everyday life, but at a deeper level, we are still like little kids for whom sex is naughty and evil. We never quite get over those childhood messages about sex being bad. As adults, we think about sex, dream about sex and fantasize about sex. We watch movies where everyone has marathon sex bouts in which they go at it all night long and start over again in the morning. When most of us measure our reality against such fantasies, reality comes up short. Thus, we prefer not to talk about reality. We ignore it or pretend we don’t have a problem but the problem does not go away. Our sex lives seldom measure up to the Hollywood standard.
Problems that are not dealt with sometimes get better, but more often they get worse.
How much time do you spend talking about sex openly and candidly with your significant other? Can you talk about what you like and what you don’t like? What turns you on and what turns you off? Do you put time away each week or every so often to talk about sex? How would you rate your sex life? What would it take to improve it?
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